August 31, 2007

The Trouble with Trouble

Trouble has money, and money is trouble.

Here's the story of another rich, pampered celebrity who think they are above the law, and entertain themselves by taking advantage of creatures outside of their own species.

Fresh off the Skewed Presses:

Trouble, the dog of Leona Helmsley, has been arrest for illegal football betting.

The now realized dead Helmsley left her beloved white ("companion") a $12 million trust fund, according to her will, which was made public Tuesday in surrogate court.

Associates of Trouble have come forward accusing the dog of squandering away the newly acquired riches betting on preseason football.

Trouble has reached a plea agreement with authorities.

During his press conference in, Trouble sounded like a dog who was truly sorry for what he did. He used the words "ashamed," "immature" and "forgiveness." He says he's found Jesus.

"Jesus has a doggie heaven right?" he yelped. "I am not spinning my wheels here am I?"

No one knows yet if the sudden adoption of religion will make things easier on the pampered pooch.

"I mean, if you asked me. I would bet all dogs go…ah [expletive]." Trouble added. "I didn't mean bet. Bad dog!"


August 30, 2007

Wake Me Up When Yom Kippur Comes

My posting as been a little sporadic lately, did anyone notice?

I vow September will be different.

So niCk, tell us about the "life" you've been having which has kept you from entertaining us with your stories from Dorkville.

Life, HA, I still have no life. Work has been busy, volunteering at various civic functions, trying to stay in shape so I can make a decent showing at my races.

Perhaps greatest threats to my blog posting routine is my after-work lassitude, cynicism of the corrupt U.S. government, disinterest in our society's distractions, and knowing few want to take the path of righteousness if it means any self-sacrifice. Why am wasting my breath?

Have no fear, we will soon be entering the season of greed, pride, gluttony and vanity. It comes sooner every year, and it always gives me much to rant about. This year I expect the stores to start rolling out the "evils of Christian hypocrisy" decorations soon after the tenth day of the Hebrew month of Tishri.

Stay Tuned......... Don't forget to Vote for niCk.


August 21, 2007


What are you doing here?

I have a nasty case of apathy, stay away before you catch it, or you can stay and read the archives, do whatever you want.

Don't forget to Vote for niCk. You should recast your vote everyday to make sure your opinion is counted. It probably won't help me win, but you're sure to find more passionate bloggers than this old dog.

Vote For niCk. There's a chance it will cure me, but I doubt it.


August 20, 2007

Shout About

Many distractions have been keeping from posting lately: Work, Running & Races, Reading, Brain Deadness, Writer's Block, frequent bipolar mood swings, and general apathy.

My writer's block was momentarily suspended last week. One of my favorite bloggers, Evil Spock, was holding a writing contest, "What does Evil Spock mean to me" , to celebrate his one year blogoversary. I couldn't resist trying to spread my apathetic mood. My entry was selected by an impartial panel of learned scholars someone named Eddy to become one of 5 finalists . Now you can go vote for my entry, so I can be burdened with win an unpaid internship and some free t-shirts. Yes, I know I should have paid more attention to the fine print. I already have too much work to do and too many t-shirts, but the ego boost would feel good for a few minutes.

Speaking of ego boost, Angry Ballerina posted this picture with a link to this blog. Thanks Angry.


August 14, 2007

Getting Religious

I love this comic.....

Here's more: Jesus & Mo

Get the Panties: Jesus & Mo Panties


August 10, 2007

Watermelon Jubilee

I love watermelon.

This weekend is the Watermelon Jubilee in Greenville, Alabama.


Three dollars is almost free, but that is with or without the wonderful summertime treat, hopefully served ice cold (fully charged would work, also).

If you really want to appreciate this beloved southern goody, which originated from southern Africa, read The Watermelon King by Daniel Wallace, best known for his 1998 novel Big Fish: A Novel of Mythic Proportions. This novel contains all the negative nuances known in the small towns of Alabama (or any backwoods place), racism, narrow-mindedness, and a bizarre, shocking revelation which won't surprise the "country folk" who grew up in this kind of outrageous environment. Heartbreaking, Provocative, and Inventive.


August 8, 2007

They Own You

Who's running America? You think it matters who's in the White House or who's elected to Congress or the Senate. They have no power, they gave it all way to powerful lobbyists who've bought them and play them like puppets.

Thanks azgoddess.

George Carlin: Who Owns You?

"Forget the politicians, they're irrelevant. The politicians are put there to give you the idea you have freedom of choice - you don't.

You have no choice.
You have owners.
They own you.
They own everything.
They own all the important land.
They own, and control the corporations.
They've long since bought, and payed for the senate, the congress, the state houses, the city halls, they got the judges in their back pockets, and they own all the big media, so they control just about all the information you get.

They got you by the balls. They spend billions of dollars every year lobbying - lobbying, to get what they want.

Well we know what they want. They want more for themselves, and less for everybody else, but I'll tell you what they don't want - they don't want a population of citizens capable of critical thinking.

They don't want well informed, well educated people capable of critical thinking. They're not interested in that - that doesn't help them. That's against their interests. That's right.

They don't want people that are smart enough to sit around a kitchen table, and think about how badly they're getting screwed by a system that threw them overboard 30 fucking years ago. They don't want that.

You know what they want? Obedient workers - Obedient workers, people who are just smart enough to run the machines, and do that paper work. And just dumb enough to passively accept all these increasingly shittier jobs with the lower pay, the longer hours, the reduced benefits, the end of overtime, and vanishing pension that disappear the minute you go to collect it, and now they're coming for your social security money.

They want your retirement money. They want it back so they can give it to their criminal friends on Wall Street, and you know something? They'll get it - they'll get it all from you sooner or later cause they own this place.

It's a big club, and you aint in it. You, and I are not in The Big Club." - George Carlin


August 6, 2007

Ultimate Emotion

This week, Barbara Morgan is set to become the first teacher in space.

This news brings back one of the saddest memories I have.

In 1985, Morgan was chosen to be the back-up to teacher-in-space Christa McAuliffe. They trained together at Johnson Space Center in Houston for six months, and it was McAuliffe who was on board Challenger when it blew apart on Jan. 28, 1986.

News crews were in McAuliffe's classroom to get the reactions of her students as she was to become the first teacher in space. As I watched, shocked by the disaster, the news cut away to her school as the students watched. The emotional and traumatic reactions from her students as they saw their hero's life flicked away by the hand of God, in real time, is the saddest thing I've ever witnessed. Tears still come to my eyes and a lump in my throat when I think about those kids.

Teacher's have always been my heroes. I've never wanted to be a teacher, and don't think I could ever rise to their level. Teaching only works when the students have motivation to learn, and only the best teachers can aspire to the level she attained. Christa McAuliffe was one teacher that motivated students to learn, not only hers, but the entire nation.

She inspired, but the Universe/God/Randomness decided to give her students a hard, brutal lesson in life, and stole their innocence, while the whole nation watched.

Whe I heard the news about Barbara Morgan becoming the first teacher in space, my thoughts immediately turned to the memories of those kids.

I couldn't hold back the tears.


August 3, 2007

Whistling Puppy

If your going to teach you dog to whistle, start when they're young:


The summer fun continues into August, posting will be rather light as my world is very busy lately. Alabama State 5K Championship are tomorrow, I go to rub elbows with the elite (and run, of course).