May 31, 2007

Picking Up The Pieces

Brick Art

I feel like that blue man in the middle, slowly trying to put myself back together. I wonder if all the pieces are still there?

What's missing? There should be a pink female sculpture, eating the blue pieces. (Shut-up niCk, you don't have to listen to all the voices.)

May 30, 2007

Stick a needle..........

The air blows in from Georgia. My eyes tear, sting, and itch. It is hard to breathe. I lay in bed wheezing, sleep will not visit me.

The air from Georgia makes it hard to see clearly. It reaches into my body and scratches its way back out, leaving sharp scars that never heal.

I long for more.
Pain in me.


"Why Georgia, Why" - Van Gogh Knew

(The smoke drifting in from the fires in the Okefenokee and Florida is also very irritating)

May 29, 2007

Active Voice



These are just words, they are not actions.

Fuck is just a (word?obscenity?exclamation?).

Love is a word. Love is an action.

Some use words to express love. Some show their love by tearing off a piece of their soul to be trampled on and abused.

I can no longer ACT ACT ACT ACT ACT on my feelings, so I fill the empty spaces with WORDS WORDS WORDS WORDS WORDS .

Go ahead, "Take another little piece........"


May 26, 2007


My friend Nancy had to part with a dear friend today. I cannot imagine the grief she is feeling now. The stronger the love, the more painful the parting.

Some time ago I posted a poem from unknown author called The Spirit of a Dog. Nancy commented that it reminded her of Luscious.

Nancy, always keep her in your memories.
Thanks for being a great friend, I'm sorry to hear about Luscious.

I"ll post the poem again today for Lush:

The Spirit Of A Dog

I was standing on a hillside
In a field of blowing wheat,
And the spirit of a dog
Was lying at my feet.

He looked at me with kind dark eyes,
Ancient wisdom shining through.
In the essence of his being,
I saw the love there too.

His mind did lock upon my heart
As I stood there on that day,
And he told me of this story
About a place so far away.

As I stood upon that hillside
In a field of blowing wheat,
In a twinkling of a second
His spirit left my feet.

His tale did put my heart at ease,
All my fears did fade away
About what lay ahead of me
On another distant day.

"I live among the spirits now
In the heavens of your mind,
So do not grieve for me, my friend
As I am with my kind.

My collar is a rainbow's hue,
My leash is a shooting star.
My boundaries are the Milky Way
Where I sparkle from afar.

There are no pens or kennels here
For I am not confined,
But I'm free to roam the heavens
Among the Doggie kind.

I nap the day on a snowy cloud
Gentle breezes rocking me,
And dream the dreams of earthlings,
And how it used to be.

The trees are full of liver treats,
And tennis balls abound,
And dog treats line the walkways
Just waiting to be found.

There even is a ring set up,
The grass all lush and green;
And everyone who gaits around
Becomes the Best of Breed.

For we're all winners in this place;
We have no faults, you see.
And the judge passes out those ribbons
To each one, even me.

I drink from waters laced with gold,
My world a beauty to behold;
And wise old dogs do form my pride
To amble at my very side.

At night I sleep in comfort's arms,
The stars protecting me,
And moonbeams dance about us
As stardust falls on thee.

So when your life on earth is spent
And you stand at Heaven's gate,
Have no fear of loneliness
--For here, you know, I wait".

- author unknown

May 25, 2007

Running Away

I have an addiction. Some people praise me the more satisfy my cravings. Other's ask why. The addiction controls me. I cannot function properly until my craving is fulfilled. It consumes my life. I don't feel right until get what I need. If I'm depressed, a fix instantly improves my mood. If I'm mad, it quells the rage. When anxious, it calms me, when I can't think clearly, it clears my mind. If I can't satisfy my hunger, my addiction suppresses the appetite. I use it to handle all my problems.

My addiction is running. I started running to stay in shape. I was in the military and was tested once year, and the test was running. But now, I don't need to run. I run because I want to. I've tried to quit, but I just end up wanting to run even more. Most people think running is a healthy activity, but is it healthy when it becomes an obsession? My whole social life revolves around the next weekend running event that I'll attend. I'm not fast enough to win any awards, but I get an occasional door prize. But there are many other running addcits that I can talk to about this addiction. Running has become more important than work. If I couldn't run because of work, I'd have to find another job, or another way to make a living.

Is there a runner's anonymous? I have not been resting like I should be, I have been sneaking out and running, and I don't feel bad about it. Should I just sit still and feel depressed about not being able to do the things I enjoy, or should I just do them and enjoy life the only way I know how?

Dogs love to run, I'm just middle-aged dog.


May 24, 2007

Blind Allegiance

This is the last frame of today's Dilbert strip.

(Scott, I'm giving you full credit and even kept the copyright mark on your work, so please don't sue me for stealing your work for my use.)

This is what little Bu$h Junior expects from you while he destroys the foundation of our nation.

/* Sarcasm On */
No Thinking! If you think, you are a bad American. STOP all thinking! We are supposed be a nation of under-achiever's, with Homer Simpson as our Hero, Bart Simpson as our future. Let the government do your thinking for you, they know best.

Become a good U.S. American, stop forming your own opinions, bad people, take your feel-good drugs, and always smile, you are being watched. Smile DAMMMIT!
/* Sarcasm Off */


May 23, 2007

Comment Whore

I'm back, but I'm really busy trying to play catch-up, while all my other co-workers party, someone has to clean up this mess (not really, my importance is only a delusion).

It's lurker call. If you come here and read my incredibly incredible ramblings, please leave me a comment and say "Hi", "Fuck Off", "I want you", or something witty and clever.

I want comments. This is your chance to stand up and be heard, at least by me and the other lurkers that read my comments. It makes a narcisstic arse like myself feel loved. P-P-P-P-Please make me feel the love. Don't be gentle!

May 15, 2007


Don't get greedy, pick just one:

Would you rather be asked a question or read my blog?

Sometimes choices are made for us. If I had my way, I'd run everyday, even if it hurt. But pain is telling me to rest for a while. I have a tendon on the back of my leg that gets severely inflamed every time I run. Running actually makes the pain go away for a short time, but then it returns, even worse after I've rested. So, it is not my choice, I must rest if I want to keep running. It is not an easy choice. I went home yesterday and had to force myself not to run. A voice in my head kept saying "Just one more run, then start resting", but I ignored it. The running and the races, my whole life (at least the part of it I enjoy), will be put on hold for a couple of weeks.

I will be leaving tomorrow to spend a week in Virginia, so this is a good time to put a hold on the running. My son, who will turn 25 next month, is getting married on Saturday.

I also will have to put a hold on the blogging for a little while. I demand that y'all behave while I'm away. Party and laugh all you want, this would be a good time to ridicule the guy with "voices in his head". I know, I know; you already do that.

Be back as soon as I can.


May 12, 2007

Caring, Dignified, Almost Needless,......

Caring, Dignified, Almost Needless, Quiet, Moody, Picky, and Impatient.

The other day a co-worker called me moody. I picked up my mouse and and tossed it into the monitor, and replied pack in an upset tone "I'm not MOODY!", stood up and walked away in a flurry of rage. The whole scene was supposed to be my attempt at humor.

Later, the coworker came by and apologized, saying she didn't mean to upset me. I told it didn't, I was trying to be funny. She insisted "No, you were upset". I couldn't convince I was just playing around being moody because she called me moody.

This is one of the qualities I lack, which so many seek. I will not be the one to make you laugh. I have a dry sense of humor, sometimes all I can manage out of people are puzzled looks. I do have a great sense of humor, but sometimes it hard to tell when I'm "humored" because I don't always laugh at the humor I find funny.

So should I change my "Personal Ad" to reflect all the honesty about myself? Would that work and not discourage potential victims dates? What do women really want?

BTW, I haven't had a date in over a year, I haven't been trying. I don't know if I can expose the real me to anyone else and not feel bad about it.

Here is my Personal Ad, let's waste time Chasing Cars.


May 11, 2007

Thank Dog Its Friday

I'm sure we've all heard that phrase, I know a couple of my unreal sicko blog friends shout that phrase at me knowing I find Dogs more spiritual than the human inspired gods.

Dogs know what love is, they seem to give it unconditonally, and they keep showing us how to love, no matter how badly we behave to them or to each other. They treat us as if we are are their gods - we don't deserve it.

In keeping with my theme this week and shouting out about my favorite bloggers, I saved the best for last. WhAt'S oN mY mInD? is the random "babblings" of Nancy, the slave of Luscious and Honey. These three beautiful creatures remind us, even when we think that life seems too difficult to continue, there are many people fighting to live. It's worth the fight, and she only has too look at her two canine companions for all the reasons in the world to live. She will say what is on her mind, rant about the challenges the universe has created for her, and babble about the wonderful people and canines in her life, letting us know "Life is Good".

Anyhow, I surf my way over to her blog to scrape up some material for today's post, and there she is blogging about some guy who hears voices. That's great, all we need is another sicko blogger hearing voices in his head, how many mentally abnormal bloggers can the blogosphere hold. However, the other links to the blogs she babbled about today in her Interesting Concepts post are great, she does have good taste in blogs, but don't pay too much attention to the guys with voices in their heads, they'll be trouble.

Nancy, I want to imbed a song here for you. I don't have time at the moment, but I'll come back later and try to do that. It'll be something new for me to learn.

The song is Suddenly I See by KT Tunstall. (Click title to play song)

May 9, 2007

Veggie Lover's ***UPDATED***

I wonder if they found a health-freak street person:

The action of this man on the day he was to be murdered by the state of Tennessee, was thoughtful, with an evil edge. He gave up his last meal, to feed someone in need and who had more life in front of them than himself. I'm sure he made it a "Veggie Lover's" because he had some grudge against a carnivorous homeless person.

This makes think of one of my favorite bloggers: Evil Spock


The officials performing the murder were not ready to commit any acts of morality. To keep their tradition of hypocrisy, here is what happened:

Prison officials refused to honor his request, saying that they do not donate to charities.

That apparently upset a few people willing to pay for and deliver a lot of pies themselves.

Homeless shelters across Nashville were inundated with donated pizzas all Wednesday.

Donna Spangler heard about Workman's request and immediately called her friends. They all pitched in for the $1,200 bill to buy 150 pizzas, which they sent to the Rescue Mission.

"Philip Workman was trying to do a good deed and no one would help him," said the 55-year-old who recruited a co-worker to help her make the massive delivery Wednesday evening.

May 8, 2007

Blast Fame E

I'm still only surfing, I've been a little too busy to come up with anything "heavy" for me to controvert.

I found this wonderful music video over at Katie Schwartz's place: Keep Your Jesus Off My Penis

In case you want to sing along: Lyrics

The picture is a link to Eric Schwartz's website, where you can find all his music and lyrics.

I wish I had more of those hypo-Christian and Neo-Conservative readers. I think they'd like this.


Care of Badtux:

Your Ideal Pet is a Big Dog

You're both energetic, affectionate, and a bit goofy.
And neither of you seem to mind very slobbery kisses!

Well, duh, no surprises here!

May 6, 2007

Where in the world.......

I've been spending this Sunday being lazy and just reading my favorite blogs. It's been a long time since I had a Sunday to just do nothing but what I wanted to do. Thank Dog I have blogs to keep me entertained, TV is sooooooooooooooooooo boring.

It's amazing how time flies when I'm blog surfing.

If you have time, cruise by Texas Oasis and wish Blueberry a Happy Second Blogiversary. She and I have lots in common, and I'm sure, just as many differences. She is an introverted, skeptical, weird, military brat who also lived in New Mexico, and has similar taste in music. Happy Blogiversary, Blueberry.

Then I surfed by Sarah, and the adventures with the Goon Squad, her toddler twins. Her post today is "How Many States have you Lived In? An Informal Poll". Being a military brat, and a military veteran, I started counting them up. Eight States, two countries. But wait, there's also other places I lived for short periods of time (not counting vacations).

It's hard to come up with a exact number, some places were temporary assignments or military training schools. So, for my post today, I made a list.

These are the places I've lived for more than a month, the places in italics are places I had "temporary duty" while in the military, and I didn't count them as places I lived:
Berlin, Germany (Place of Birth)
El Paso, TX
Fulda, Germany
Wildflecken, Germany
South Bend, IN
Lackland AFB, San Antonio, TX
Lowry AFB, Denver, CO
Kirtland AFB, Albuquerque, NM
Keesler AFB, Biloxi, MS
Langley AFB, Hampton, VA
Elmendorf AFB, Anchorage, AK
Leakenheath RAF, Suffolk, England
Woodbridge, VA (Dale City) (multiple military assignments)
Kirtland AFB, Albuquerque, NM (Yes, again, two different times)
Atlanta, GA
Birmingham, AL
Montgomery, AL

Side Note: Think again if you see me as some gung-ho military person. I was a Computer Programmer Software Engineer for most of my military career. In Basic Training, when we went to learn how to shoot guns, they took mine away and suggested I seek a career that didn't involve shooting. Suited me just fine. (It's Not True! But that's the lie I like to tell people).

So, where in the world have you been?

May 4, 2007

Friday Dog Wisdom

The reason a dog has so many friends is that he wags his tail instead of his tongue.

Don't accept your dog's admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful.
-Ann Landers

If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went.
-Will Rogers

There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face.
-Ben Williams

A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself.
-Josh Billings

The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.
-Andy Rooney

We give dogs time we can spare, space we can spare and love we can spare. And in return, dogs give us their all. It's the best deal man has ever made.
-M. Acklam

Dogs love their friends and bite their enemies, quite unlike people,
who are incapable of pure love and always have to mix love and hate.
-Sigmund Freud

I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.
-Rita Rudner

A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down.
-Robert Benchley

Anybody who doesn't know what soap tastes like never washed a dog.
-Franklin P. Jones

If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is that certain dogs I have known will go to heaven, and very, very few persons.
-James Thurber

If your dog is fat, you aren't getting enough exercise

My dog is worried about the economy because Alpo is up to $3.00 a can. That's almost $21.00 in dog money.
-Joe Weinstein

Ever consider what our dogs must think of us? I mean, here we come from a grocery with the most amazing haul, chicken, pork, half a cow. They must think we're the greatest hunters on earth!
-Anne Tyler

Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.
-Robert A. Heinlein

If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you; that is the principal difference between a dog and a man.
-Mark Twain

You can say any foolish thing to a dog, and the dog will give you a look that says, 'Wow, you're right! I never would've thought of that!'
- Dave Barry

Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole.
-Roger Caras

If you think dogs can't count, try putting three dog biscuits in your pocket and then give him only two of them.
-Phil Pastoret

My goal in life is to be as good a person as my dog thinks I am.

May 2, 2007

Artificial Distraction

Saturday morning I did a five mile run which I had spent a year preparing. The last time I ran this race, one year ago, I did very poorly, and was disappointed that my conditioning was not working, so I changed my routine. The change paid off. I managed to run my fastest five mile race ever, a personal record, and now I have a new time to beat, I was happy for a couple of hours.

Then, slowly, the darkness crept in. It was an attack of sadness. Why does this shit happen, even when I'm having a good time, for no reason. Was it that my goal had been met? Was it all the artificial distraction going on all around me, loud music, happy laughing people? Was my system being overloaded?

I have said before, my running helps these mood swings, but it is the long slow runs, not the races, that produce the endorphin highs for me which last for days. This race, and others, seem have the opposite effect, after an initial elation, the onset of sadness. Is it because I've depleted vital nutrients in my system? Is it the effect of my body recovering from a stressful event?

One of the reasons I do races, is not for the competition, but rather to socialize and meet others like myself, and to keep myself focused on healthy activities. It was supposed to eliminate this overwhelming heavy weight of sadness that I've experienced my whole life, and it usually does, but now this black dog was visiting me during the times when I was focused on activities to avoid it. I love the racing activities, if I could just avoid the depression that sometimes occur afterward. Will I keep racing if this darkness keeps finding me there?

So Saturday, I slipped away from all the artificial man-made festivities going on around Alabama this weekend, went into the back country to a small Mom-n-Pop motel that I frequent, did some hiking and avoided all humans and their mindless way of finding things to do. I try to participate in their artificial distractions, but it bores me.

I know I'm not alone, but the sheep just keep following other sheep for no other reason other than someone else is doing it.


May 1, 2007

Tuesday Peace Blogging

The Tuesday Topic on Blogs for Peace is right in-line with my last Tuesday Topic post two weeks ago.

"The United States Congress passed a bill last week limiting war funding and calling for substantial withdrawal by next March. President Bush is expected to veto. It is also expected that there are insufficient votes to override this veto, and this will lead to negotiations on a compromise bill.

Do you trust those who are against the war in the US Congress to stick to their policies and stand up for peace?

If not, do you find any wholly political solutions likely or viable for the short-term in ending the Iraq War?

Our current executive misleader insisted on "Staying the Course" on the Iraq occupation, and has steered the situation into certain disaster. There is now way to win, we are not fighting a war, we are trying to bring security to a region of the world that has a violent past. No point on blaming the guilty, no crimes seem to stick to the leaders that misled us into this situation. We need a solution. The House and Senate has offered continued funding for the war with a clear exit strategy, the executive branch wants to reject this idea and punish the troops for his mismanagement. What do we do? It is a very complicated issue.

I do not see any peaceful solution for this situation. If we leave, there is sure to be an humanitarian crisis, but doing the same failed strategy means thousands of more deaths and much more violence. It is a bad situation. We need to let the fire burn out, which isn't likely to happen no matter what we do, or we need to bring in enough resources to extinguish the fire. As long as we keep letting our current executive misleaders use the Iraq occupation as a political toy, we will not have any success. They are not wise enough to see that their strategy is not working.

The Iraq situation has decreased security for Americans worldwide, and left the U.S. vulnerable because vital components of our defense system our being misused in a misguided, mismanaged occupation which is now a huge resource hog without any positive results. They are just waiting to blame their failures on the next administration.

The only workable solution is setting a timetable for withdrawal and letting the Arab states handle the situation, but that is basically the same problems that have created the civil and religious wars (sectarian violence).

Did you know? Iraqi Kurdistan is as an autonomous entity inside Iraq, with its own local government and parliament since 1992. Yes, even while Saddam was still dictator, he never had much control in Kurdistan since this time. Kurdistan is peaceful.