New Tricks for an Old Dog

Mauigirl tagged me.

I already did my last tag. It was titled A Tag to End All Tags.

It's not that I don't like these fun "assignments", but it feels like homework. Now I got this voice in my head saying "They're not going to like you unless you do the tag", and another catatonic consciousness repeating "must do tag".

After I finish the tag, I'm always glad for the easy way to come up with a blog post. Even though I might say I dislike tags, I really like them, but I'm afraid of the commitment thing, so I try avoid them.

Make sense to you? Yeah, me neither.

I put it off for a week, and the voices keep getting louder. OKAY, DAMN it, I'll do it.

Here's the Tag: You must write about five classes you would like to take if you could make up your own curriculum. AND- and this is important, ONE of them must come from your tagger's list.

How to Watch George W. Bush Make a Speech Without Screaming at the Television:

Learn to how to channel your anger into more constructive reactions than throwing hammers and rocks at the Nationalistic Conservative Traitors of America when they make speeches that show this nation being led by the same people who idolize Homer and Bart Simpson.


Living in the South:

Topics: Eat Pork at every meal. Dressing in winter clothes when the temperatures hit the frigid 50's. Where to go to Church. The Art of Fried Food. Life without dentistry, vegetables, or higher education. Mobile Home real estate. Inter-Familial relationships. Banjo Playing. This isn't really a class, but a way to understand (and make fun of) southern life.


Dream Interpretation:

Are those recurring dreams nagging you? Are you frustrated with situations that have you dreaming you're trapped and wake up in a cold sweat? Learn to interpret your dreams, take control of the unconscious mind, and resolve unknown issues you don't realize are making you a mental wreck. Bonus: Lucid Dreaming: Learn to control your dreams.


Holiday Shopping 101:

Pick the perfect gift every time. The art of browsing stores for hours to come up with bad choices for those undecideds. How to tune out the ugly holiday decorations and awful music that usually make you want to bash your head against a brick wall. Learn to be cheerful, full of holiday spirit, and completely clueless about the evils of the holidays. End your craving for World Peace by becoming part of the problem that fuels the world's war machines. Become one of the constantly consuming masses which purchase tons of useless junk nobody wants.


Herbalism:

Remember the days of old when Grandmother strapped a warm mustard pack to our congested chests when we had a cold? Or used a warmed tea bag to rid pink eye, a clove of garlic to stop an earache, or prepared a mixture of chaparral and olive oil as a cure for itchy skin? Herbs or medicinal plants have a long history in treating disease. In traditional Chinese medicine, for example, the written history of herbal medicine goes back over 2000 years and herbalists in the West have used “weeds” equally long to treat that which ails us. We are all familiar with the virtues of Garlic, Chamomile, Peppermint, Lavender, and other common herbs. Treat conditions naturally without all the toxic side effects of the pharmaceutical corporations drugs.

I will not tag anyone, unless you want me to, then consider yourself tagged.

If you'd like to participate, then jump in and join the fun. Clothing is optional.

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