August 22, 2006

"Kindred Spirits" and "Happy Tears"

"Kindred Spirits"and "Happy Tears" are words from comments left on my blog that have deep meaning for me.

I've been searching my whole life for "kindred spirits", and I'm only recently finding them thru my blog. Minou-in-France, BBC, Badtux and Scott Adams have made me realize that I'm not the only one with those voices in my head. I'm honored these people have taken the time to comment on my blog. Why are they so hard to find around here (or where ever I'm at at the moment)?

One commenter said that a certain song made her cry "Happy Tears". I cry more of those tears than others. Many songs do that for me, Los Lobo's "One Time One Night". Jewel's "Don't" and many other of hers. The list is too long.... Why do my eyes well up at these times, but times that I'm sad, like the deaths of family and friends, no tears come. There are some movies with happy endings that have me crying so much I'm afraid to watch those with friends because they'll think something is wrong with me. The tears came when favorite pets have passed away, but that is about the only times sadness brings me to tears, most of the time I cry when I discover and see true love and happy endings, animals or humans.

What makes a person act the way they do? Recent therapy has enlighten me, but most of our emotions, quirks, obsessions, attitude, etc, are hard-wired, they are in the genes. I can put a lot of blame on parents and step-parents, brothers, and family friends that have done immoral, evil, and hard-to-forgive acts against me. But when I look at other family members it is a wonder how much alike we've become. (as well as how much different we are). My whole life my family has rejected the way I choose to live, my ideology, the choices I've made, but yet my life is so much better than theirs, how can they say my choices are wrong. I don't have much contact with my family anymore, I was tired of hearing how the whole world is against them. Really? Me too. Join the club. What are you doing to fix that? There is a lot of good in the world, too, don't you see that, or are you too focused on the negative side that you are blind too the positive side?

I dream of traveling. I grew up in Germany, West Texas, Northern Indiana and have lived in New Mexico, Virginia, DC and presently Alabama. Alabama has the worst climate, great winters, but miserable summers. New Mexico is the place I can see myself living. High Desert, pleasant summers, moderate winters and beautiful landscapes. New Mexico had the most spectacular sunsets I have ever seen anywhere. I loved traveling in the Alps of Germany and Austria and dream of extended vacations there, doing the hut-to-hut hiking adventures, seeing Vienna on foot, sipping coffee in the sidewalk cafe's. I've never been to France, but I like the French culture and attitudes, from what I've seen on travel shows and read about in books.

The U.S. is very close to becoming a 24*7 country, people need instant gratification for any want or need that might arise. The European countries are not like that, they know how to live, how to "take it easy", how to enjoy life. I'm tired of being around people where making money and working is the most important thing in life. They cannot understand her that I don't want any overtime, but they keep trying to get me to work overtime like I'm lucky to get it. Give it to someone who wants or needs it. I really enjoy my time off, but I get so damn little of it, and there is so much to do, books to read, trails to discover, beers to sample, coffee shops to try, plays............ I love to watch little kids playing soccer on Saturday mornings, so I try to plan my Saturday morning runs to go by the soccer fields. They just seem to be having so much fun, just being a kid, no cares who wins, they just want to get out there and play. Adults take life so seriously, life is too short people. I don't want to be an invalid by the time I have enough time to enjoy my life.

Anyway, I'm just rambling again today. This weekend I'll try to be more focused.

"There are two different kinds of people in this world: those who finish what they start, and." ---Brad Ramsey


cyndy lu who said...

…it's like there are no walls.

BBC said...

Overtime, isn't that when you are still making love longer than you expected to? Okay, just got home, will take a nap and read your post again.

BBC said...

Family, I've never much focused on that, a lot of my family were idiots, bigger ones than me. I've evolved a little, they didn't. I tend to go out and look for extended family, kindred souls to share life with.

Happy songs, remember The New Christy Minstrals (sp)? I loved their music.

Minou said...

Just catching up with some of your posts - I agree with BBC, I've had some idiots in my life, some of them have grown enough to finally accept me, and some are so closed off that I don't care if I never see them again, I prefer it that way. Just cut out the dead wood, concentrate on what fills you with passion and creativity and you will attract better things and people into your life. You are living for you, not for someone else - let them take care of themselves.