February 4, 2007

Van Gogh Knew

Some people listen to music for the, uh, music. Nice beat, good melody.

I have found that the songs that stick with me, the ones I remember, the ones I want to hear over and over, are the ones with meaningful lyrics I can relate to my life. I listen to them and think "Wow, that person is living the same life I am", because the lyrics represent something past or present in my life.

If you been reading my ramblings for a while, you would find that I have been through the mid-life crisis, and came out completely opposite of what I once was. It was depressing, it was depression that caused the problems, it was caused by physical changes in the body's chemicals, not by the people or events in my life at the time. (Warning: When going through depression, don't let your doctor prescribe anti-depressants. The suidical link is real, and not just for young people.)

Anyway, back to my reason for today's post, song lyrics that hold meaning in my life, that become my favorites. I have written about Closer To Fine and why I can relate to those lyrics.

Today I pick another of my recent favorites. John Mayer's Why Georgia. (I'm old, the 90's are recent to me.)

Why Georgia - John Mayer

I am driving up 85 in the
Kind of morning that lasts all afternoon
just stuck inside the gloom
4 more exits to my apartment but
I am tempted to keep the car in drive
And leave it all behind

These words came out of the radio one day when I was driving on 85, just a few exits from my apartment and I was always tempted to just keep driving and "leave it all behind". But did that once and it turned out bad, now I'm too scared to do it. Even when one of my favorite songwriters tempt me.

Cause I wonder sometimes
About the outcome
Of a still verdictless life

Always wondering about my life, what will be the outcome?

Am I living it right?
Am I living it right?
Am I living it right? The voices whisper this to me
Why Georgia, why?

Georgia, where I went for my failed attempt at a new life. Confirmed my fallibility. Big crash, lots of damage.

I rent a room and I fill the spaces with
Wood in places to make it feel like home
But all I feel's alone
It might be a quarter life crisis
Or just the stirring in my soul

Yeah, me too. I rent a room, and try to make it feel like home, but it just feels lonely. Was my mid-life crisis a "stirring"?

Either way I wonder sometimes
About the outcome
Of a still verdictless life

Am I living it right?
Am I living it right?
Am I living it right?
Why Georgia, why?

So what, so I've got a smile on
But it's hiding the quiet superstitions in my head
Don't believe me
When I say I've got it down

I try to smile so people are not always asking me "what's wrong?", but it is hiding a lot of buzzing voices in my head, and self-inflicted pain. I don't know what I'm doing here.

Everybody is just a stranger but
That's the danger in going my own way
I guess it's the price I have to pay
Still "everything happens for a reason"
Is no reason not to ask myself

I can relate to all those things, trying to be an unique individual. Trying to do what I feel is right instead of just following the crowd. It makes me a stranger to most people, except for a few kindred souls I've found here in the blogosphere. "everything happens for a reason", I'm not too sure about that, but I hope so.

If I am living it right
Am I living it right?
Am I living it right?
Why Georgia, why?

Why did this happen to me? Am I doing this right? Are there answers to those questions the voices keep asking me?

.

8 comments:

BSB said...

Good morning!

I like John Mayer.. ;-)

I think we are never sure of what we are doing and if our decisions will be right or wrong.

I still strongly believe that we have to follow our gut instinct. It might not always be the right thing to do but isn't this what it's all about??? Trial & error.

Be true to who you are. Some people will not agree with it, so be it. Stick with those who will respect every little part of who your are.

Off topic, Honey went through the garbage and ate a tampax?!??!?$/$"$%$ Now I'm worried that it'll stay stuck in there..... ;-( So I'll be watching her closely today!

Have a great day my friend!

XOXOXOXO

niCk (Mem Beth) said...

BSB,

About Honey. Uh, that was TMI.

I hope you solve your mouse problems. I've used traps before, and that has always worked for me. The mice would be ok as pets, if they could be house-broken or trained to use litter or something like that. Then you could just name it and call it a pet.

I agree with going with your gut instainct. My problem was that I went against that instinct, so i was doomed to failure, even if everything went okay. I can't seem to figure out why I did that. Mid-life crisises don't make sense.

Thanks for the kind words, today and yesterday.

Isn't Genevieve a cuty. She's Canadian (BC), also. Did you see the other pics on her site? Her name on my post is a link to her site.

The run this weekend was just a club run, members of the club and a local military school get together for a 5K run, some beer, some stew, and sit around a lie about why our time wasn't so great. My lie was that I was setting my pace for the 10k I'm running next weekend and was running the 5k twice, they believed me. We always support each other like that.

Hope your day is pleasant. Don't be too hard on Mickey and Minnie.

Love ya, you're a good friend, Kisses and hugs.

azgoddess said...

mice problems? that's why i share my house with two cats...no little critters scurring to-and-fro

and love John Mayer myself...his lyrics say so much

and about your fear...i think of my life like this...making mistakes makes me a better person...as long as i learn from them...

so big hugs my friend! you are living it right!

supergirlest said...

two of my favorites! i also strongly identify with both of the songs you've written about!

i say, as long as you are living true to yourself, you ARE living it right!

i'd like to suggest a couple of books, if you don't mind me doing so... hop on over to my space and shoot ma an email if you want. the link it at the bottom of my sidebar... i think that you of all people would really really appreciate them and find a bit of insight!

p/s - i like you just the way you are. :)

pissed off patricia said...

there have been several times in my life when I have heard a song and wondered, is someone watching me like a little rat in a cage and then writing songs about what is happening to me?

BSB said...

Hey there... I left you this comment over on my blog.. ;-)

Good morning Nick,

Can I tell you that after the incident of Honey going through the garbage and eating the tampax I went nuts!!! I felt so bad about it but as you say, animals are so forgiving. She didn't even remember me going crazy and she just wanted to cuddle.. ;-) Indeed not many humans would be so forgiving....

TMI... LOL

You see my friend, this is one good thing about NOT having a woman around. You don't have to go through the monthly periods, the mood swings..and yeah..tampax in the garbage... LOL

LUV YA and do have a great day! ;-)

XOXOXOXO

Pam said...

Love this song as well.

I prefer songs with meaningful lyrics as well. But it's got to enjoyable to listen to as well. No twangy country, that's for sure!

You should e-mail supergirl for those books. I think I know which ones she is going to recommend ;-).

BBC said...

You are not old unless you grew up with Elvis and the Beatles like I did. Even Patsy Cline, and C.W. McCall.

Tampax.... LOL

It's great to get to the age where you live with women that don't need those so that you don't have to deal with that.

My wife had a hysterectomy at about 35, loved it. And so did she.