February 28, 2007

February 27, 2007


Some nights I have a great vivid dreams about past memories and loves. Last night I had one those dreams, and it seem to last all night. I even woke a few times, thought about what the dream was about and fell back to sleep resuming the same dream, more than once. The dream, which I've had many times, in many different forms, always start out great, and ends sadly with me chasing someone that is running away. I'm unable to catch them, unable to move, or lose them in one way or another. One time I lost them in a crowd, one time they fell into water and dissappeared, and another time I was held in place by a unseen force.

In my real life, I lose touch with loved ones because I'm unable deal with all the real complications in life. When people make life get too complicated, I run from them, hoping they'll understand and still allow me in their life. It nevers works that way.

I'm at a point now where I'm ready to run again. This time there is no one to hurt.

Sometimes, keeping life simple, is very empty.

"Too many times I've cared too much
I stood on the edge and saw that you held my hand"

February 26, 2007

Chemical Reactions

The voices are getting louder, I need a way to channel the neurons before my mind overloads.

What in the world is going on with the world? Why are people so freaking unhappy they must make everyone else unhappy. Let people live they want to live and quit forcing your beliefs and ideology on someone who might disagree with you. so what! we all disagree! That is being human. If they are not hurting anyone or taking away someone's elses liberties, freedoms or pursuits of living, then it is none of your business how they choose to live.

We are all unique, lets celebrate that, instead of hating because you can't stand someone that doesn't fit YOUR definition of "normal". There is no normal, normal is just a mean, an average. The average of 1, 2, and 6 is 3, but 3 is not part of the numbers being averaged. Get it! There is no such thing as normal. The further away a person is from the "norm", the more interesting that person.

Celebrate Diversity!

February 20, 2007

Quotes Tag

Blueberry tagged me. I'm guessing the tag was favorite quotes. So here it is:

"A human being is a part of a whole, called by us 'universe', a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings as something separated from the rest... a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest to us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty." - Albert Einstein

”As the intelligent and caring disappear, overwhelmed by the stupidity and deceit, the oblivious babbling buffoons will take over and fill the vacuum with inane nonsense designed to lull the unaware into a false sense of security, just before we fall off the edge of the earth.” - Debra (
http://debsquirkyweb.blogspot.com/ )

"Religion has actually convinced people that there's an invisible man -- living in the sky -- who watches everything you do, every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a special list of ten things he does not want you to do..And if you do any of these ten things, he has a special place, full of fire and smoke and burning and torture and anguish, where he will send you to live and suffer and burn and choke and scream and cry forever and ever 'til the end of time! ..But He loves you." - George Carlin

"What is the use of a house if you haven't got a tolerable planet to put it on? "
"It is not enough to be industrious; so are the ants. What are you industrious about? "
"An early-morning walk is a blessing for the whole day. "
Henry David Thoreau

"Close the door. Write with no one looking over your shoulder. Don't try to figure out what other people want to hear from you; figure out what you have to say. It's the one and only thing you have to offer." - Barbara Kingsolver

I tag anyone wanting to participate.

Golden Sands

I have nothing for you today. After a three-day weekend of running and walks on the powder white sands of the gulf coast, the voices have shutdown for a while.

I'm sure the voices will return, as I return to the burning fires of work to torment the foolish souls that dare request my assistance. I try to be rude and anti-social, but they do not have the wisdom to avoid me. They will pay.

In the News: Quit looking at the shaved skin Brittany keeps flashing at us. She's not a Brittany Spaniel, so who cares?

Now here is some news worth our attention. Have you heard about the Black Lab "Velvet"? He was rescued with injured mountain climbers on Mt Hood. He was credited with helping keep them alive while a blizzard raged around them. There is always a reason to bring a dog with you on adventures into the wilderness. Always. May Dog be with you.

EEEEEEEEPPPPPPPPPP! Blueberry tagged me. I guess my post for tomorrow has been decided.

UPDATE: The Higher Power of Ignorance.

The voices are returning. The news at the link above is about a book, The Higher Power of Lucky, banned because it contains the word "scrotum". LOL. Maybe they should have said "balls" or "nuts", those are acceptable words, right?

This book has won praise from educators and was given the Newbery Medal, yet a group of arrogant and ignorant Americans think the use of this one word will corrupt the moral fiber of our youth.

If I ever write a book, I would have a goal of getting it banned in the U.S., it guarantees robust sales. .

Or maybe this was a way to increase the curiosity of these youth, to seek out this book, then they can tell their peers they've read a banned book. Could this just be another marketing gimmick?


February 16, 2007


Mutual Bliss

Friday Dog Link: Fetch (the link works now, it is a cartoon strip)

February 15, 2007


A typical reason to avoid social functions is social failure. A non-conformist personality or perhaps mental issues sometimes make a person difficult to get a long with. Few people want to deal with emotional problems of others, especially men, when these problems originate in upbringing, personality, or seem to exist only within their own mind. These scenarios might make a recluse of a person.

On the other hand, some people choose to withdraw from social situations because they reject these "normal" activities, they find it unstimulating. They can function socially, but they refuse it. Their self-confidence reaches a point where they no longer need the acceptance of a peer group, or empty synthetic entertainment, as a daily routine. They withdraw from society voluntarily becoming introverted, restrained, and self-sufficient. Do not confuse socialization with social personality. These people reject over-socialization or bad socialization. The introvert or highly sensitive person chooses to ignore the toxic effects of over-stimulation, and this is a natural human reaction.

It is a search for balance.

Homeostasis; the return to a internal equilibrium by adjusting psychologocial processes. It is the maintenance of the internal environment within tolerable limits.

This reaction is much like the way the body works (as does nature) where over-stimulation can be unwanted or painful. Balance is not just a goal of nature, as if nature had a design or purpose. (That is a separate issue.) It should be a goal of the conscious human self, and we can learn in part how to achieve this by paying attention to nature and even to the body, which, after all, is part of nature.

Self-corrections by nature are often labeled disasters by human society (floods, earthquakes, tornadoes, hurricanes, religious terrorists) but there are clear if not predictable causes. In a cosmic sense, these are not disasters but events. They are natural spasms reacting to contrived material conditions and unsustainable behaviors. The expressions are violence, war, destruction, famine, and impoverishment. They are labeled revolutionary, or should be, even when carried out by the state. They may take a long time to work themselves around to their causes. These spasms to achieve balance are to be considered disastrous in consequence but they follow logically from the radical absence of balance in the society itself.

While no one wishes these disasters, few are paying attention to the contrived situations from which they arise.

Back to introverts which are solitary: It is the view of almost every solitary that society has gone off track and cannot empathize it's own ills. They view a society that lacks a mechanism for achieving balance. Is this inevitable? The solitary people may want to affirm solitude for him or her self, not want to judge others, their institutions and situations. They inevitably condemn the world, and by extension, the artificial and contrived entity we call society.

What would a world without society be? A world of solitaries? Is a world without society possible? NO. In my opinion, solitude is only the extension of the intuitive soul perceiving the pain and suffering that comes from embracing a life containerized and compartmentalized by society that is out-of-balance.

Koyaanisqatsi? In the Hopi language, the word Koyaanisqatsi means 'life of moral corruption and turmoil, life out of balance'

Natural disasters are homeostasis in nature. Destruction and violence is an human attempt at balance act between the rich and powerful, and the suppressed or reactive. It is the sad interplay of economic and psychological forces of human society. It never stays at that level, it descends into physical pain and suffering.

Solitude and becoming solitary is a balancing "event" in the world of human consciousness.


February 14, 2007

Look Out


Know me broken by my master
Teach thee on child of love hereafter

Into the flood again
Same old trip it was back then
So I made a big mistake
Try to see it once my way

Drifting body it's sole desertion
Flying not yet quite the notion

Into the flood again
Same old trip it was back then
So I made a big mistake
Try to see it once my way

Into the flood again
Same old trip it was back then
So I made a big mistake
Try to see it once my way

Am I wrong?
Have I run too far to get home?
Have I gone?
And left you here alone?
If I would, could you?

- Alice in Chains

Video: Would?

February 13, 2007


Within the last year I've had three close encounters with Hawks while I'm out running.

In May, while warming up for a race, a Hawk, coming from behind me, flew just a few feet above my head in a dive for some breakfast of mourning dove. Sent a shot of adrenaline through my veins, which is actually a good thing right before a race.

Sometime this last fall, on another sunrise run, I turned a corner, next to a hedge, I was startled by a Hawk feasting on its latest meal, another dove. The hedge had hid us from each other until I was almost on top of him. The Hawk did not fly away, he just sat their stunned, lowered his head as if to say "This is mine, get your own".

Last week I had the third and most memorable encounter, one I will never forget. I often see hawks soaring above the houses of the suburban sprawl that I use as running track. I assume they are just passing the time, or searching for prey. But this time, a Hawk gliding right next to me, in the same direction, at the level of my head, 8-10 feet away, and seemed to slow down to take a good look at me, as I looked back.

Was the hawk sizing me up, I am smaller than most humans?
Was the hawk trying to figure out why I use legs to travel, when flying is so much easier, and graceful?
Was the hawk offering salutations on this wonderful day?

Or, perhaps, the hawk is my spirit guide, trying to tell me something.

I feel lucky in my encounters with flying animals. I have a few friends in the running club up in Birmingham. There is a popular running path there along Lakeshore drive. They have installed bat houses to attract bats in that area and guess what.... they were successful. A couple of runners have been bitten by the bats while running on that trail. The big problem is that if you are bitten, you pretty much have to take the rabies vaccine. It is VERY painful, very expensive, and if you do not start it in time, or know that you were bitten, it is 100% fatal.

I have seen bats on my late evening, sunset runs. They have never bothered me. I now like to think my spirit guide is protecting me.

My harmony with the planet.

Now I just need a rhino protecting me from all the soccer moms on cell phones in bloated SUV's. Now that is a dangerous animal. The moms, not the rhino.

February 12, 2007


Happy Birthday, Mr. Darwin!

Charles Robert Darwin was born in Shrewsbury, England on February 12, 1809.

Young Charles Darwin

The fifth child and second son of the physician Robert Waring Darwin and Susannah Wedgewood, Darwin’s mother died when he was eight years old and he was raised largely by his sister, Caroline. Darwin came from a pedigree of scientists. His grandfather, Erasmus Darwin, was a physician whose ideas on evolution anticipated later theories on the subject. From 1827 -1831, Darwin attended Christ’s College, Cambridge and excelled in the natural sciences, in biology, zoology and geology. After his graduation, Darwin’s botany professor helped arrange for him to serve as naturalist on a British surveying expedition, the H.M.S. Beagle, which would travel around the world from 1831 to 1836. While the voyage served as the cornerstone of Darwin’s thinking, it took over 20 years of careful observation, research and experimentation before he would publish his seminal work on the theory of evolution, On the Origin of Species by Means of Natural Selection, in 1859. In the interim, Darwin married his cousin Emma Wedgewood and had ten children. In 1851, his second child and eldest daughter, Anne Elizabeth, died of tuberculosis at the age of ten. Annie’s death had a profound influence on Darwin’s thinking about Christianity and natural selection.

Darwin understood that his work would arouse a storm of controversy as it Darwin and son William challenged contemporary beliefs about the creation of life. As a result, he did not hurry to publish Origins, and he did not discuss human evolution there. However, Darwin followed this up by publishing his ideas on the evolution of man, Sexual Selection and the Descent of Man, about a dozen years later, allowing the public time to adjust and accept the theory of evolution.

On April 19, 1882, at approximately 4:00 PM, Charles Darwin died at his long-time residence and research laboratory Down House. Darwin was laid to rest in Westminster Abbey, next to his friend Sir John Herschel, and approximately twenty feet from another giant of scientific thought, Sir Isaac Newton.

From: Visionlearning

February 11, 2007

The Blogosphere Reports

Thanks to Blueberry over at Texas Oasis for pointing out that today, February 11, is second anniversary of Evolution Sunday. This day was created by Christians to acknowledge the science of evolution.

Denying that humans evolved in this day and age is a waste of time. Humans brains evolved too far to return to the ages of ignorance. In the U.S., too many try to debate creation versus science, while the rest of the world understands that these two worlds, science and religion, can exist at the same time, they are compatible.

February 12 is Darwin's birthday.

From Undeniable Liberalism:

Do you know who this is? I'll give you a clue. She died last Thursday, Febuary 8.

She is Captain Jennifer Harris. She was killed while piloting her CH-46E Sea Knight helicopter north of Baghdad. She was 27 on her third tour of duty in the U.S.'s occupation of Iraq. She had less than a week left on her tour.

A meaningful life ignored.

I want to know more about her. The news needs to tell us the story of her heroic life.

Instead, the U.S. media brings you news of the death of some doped-up brainless unattractive bimbo slut and the paternity of her child, which no one has any clue who the father is because the trampy mother slept with too many men. The U.S. News media worships Anna Nicole Slut. If this is what the American public wants to see on the news, it is shameful.

What comes out on the news is based on ratings, and ratings is what brings in the money. They are whores, more willing to make a few extra bucks, than having just an ounce of integrity. Just like the wench, who is the object of their affection.


February 10, 2007

Me Me - Let It Be Me

Self-Sufficient Tag that BSB suggested: (Nancy, What happened to your blog?)

1. WHAT TIME IS IT? Time is a meaningless delusion.
2. FULL NAME? Names are so superficial, better words would be FULL MONTY?
3. WHAT DO YOU FEAR MOST? Heights, Losing my independence.
4. WHAT DO YOU DRIVE? Honda Accord, Gray.
5. HAVE YOU EVER SEEN A GHOST? Ghosts are a illusion of the mind. I see them in my mind all the time.
6. WHERE WERE YOU BORN? München, Deutschland
7. EVER BEEN TO ALASKA? Yes, Summer 1988 and 1992.
9. CROUTONS OR BACON BITS? Sunflower Seeds.
10. FAVORITE DAY OF THE WEEK: Saturday or Sunday, whichever day I do a long run.
13. FAVORITE SPORT TO WATCH: Soccer (not on TV)
14. FAVORITE DRINK: Hard: Beer, Soft: Coffee
15. FAVORITE ICE CREAM: Half FRENCH vanilla with half of a nut flavored ice cream (pistachio, black walnut, butter pecan) or Half FRENCH vanilla with Rasberry Sorbet. (I'm very particular), Tiramisu comes in second.
16. DISNEY OR WARNER BROTHERS: Warner Bros (Hey, I'm a Road Runner, meep-meep)
19. HOW MANY TIMES DID YOU FAIL YOUR DRIVING EXAM? Never failed any exam, ever.
25. PERFECT AFTERNOON? Warm Breeze, Misty Air, Picnic/Hike to the Top of a Mountain ("So I'm packing my bags for the Misty Mountains Where the spirits go now")
27. WHAT ARE YOUR FAVORITE COLORS? Green on Gray (Green Tree Frog on Granite)
30. WHO IS THE PRIMARY INFLUENCE YOUR LIFE? Offspring, and their offspring
32. HOW MANY PEOPLE ARE YOU GONNA TAG ? Anyone who wants to.

February 9, 2007


Slow news week? Psycho Astronauts, Anna Nicole, Prince's Super Bowl Shadow. Can we BE more shallow? When did cheap tabloid entertainment become headline news? It's was like a badly staged less-than-reality show. Unimportant people news for a country who cares more about what it's entertainers are doing than the abuses of it's government. Slowing hypnotizing the public with bad, bland, boring distraction, so the government crimes go unnoticed. Are the news channels grasping for ratings? WTF!

Lets just hope, for our country's sake, that we are soon ruled by a wiser, simpler, life-loving species. Canine Superioris.

Are you too cold? Think hot weather. Anyone want to go swimming?

Marco .............................................. Polo

Here is Friday's Spirituality/Dog Link: Fuzzy Face

- To err is human, to forgive canine."

February 8, 2007

Amazing Art

Does the amazing art at this link make anyone else want to go out and buy an exacto?:


February 7, 2007


I love dark chocolate. I love getting one of the small Dove dark chocolate candies and slowly little the smoothy creamy chocolate melt in in mouth. Savoring the slightly bitter sweetness for as long as I can make it last.

Dove had a cute idea. Put cute, loving, positive affirmations, endearments, and terms of affections inside the foil wrappers of these small candies. So they give your ego a boost, or blush, while your enjoying the chocolate.

Yesterday I go by a coworker's desk, who I know has some of these chocolates, to say "Hi" and steal some candy. I'm not dissappointed, she has just refilled her her candy jar with Dove Darks. These candies are in the shape of hearts for Valentine's Day. I snatch a piece, make a few minutes of gratuitous conversation, then walk outside to savor the convection.

I open the candy and immediately start enjoying it. As it sits on my tongue melting, I flatten out the wrapper to complete this moment of delight. I sit back to read what "Valentine" message I received. It's kind of like reading your fortune from one's of those oriental fortunes. There is a quick moment of anticipation, then I read it. Here is the message on the wrapper:

"Be your own Valentine"

I guess the whole world knows how I spend Valentine's Day. I will indulge myself. Again. /* Big Sigh */

February 4, 2007

Van Gogh Knew

Some people listen to music for the, uh, music. Nice beat, good melody.

I have found that the songs that stick with me, the ones I remember, the ones I want to hear over and over, are the ones with meaningful lyrics I can relate to my life. I listen to them and think "Wow, that person is living the same life I am", because the lyrics represent something past or present in my life.

If you been reading my ramblings for a while, you would find that I have been through the mid-life crisis, and came out completely opposite of what I once was. It was depressing, it was depression that caused the problems, it was caused by physical changes in the body's chemicals, not by the people or events in my life at the time. (Warning: When going through depression, don't let your doctor prescribe anti-depressants. The suidical link is real, and not just for young people.)

Anyway, back to my reason for today's post, song lyrics that hold meaning in my life, that become my favorites. I have written about Closer To Fine and why I can relate to those lyrics.

Today I pick another of my recent favorites. John Mayer's Why Georgia. (I'm old, the 90's are recent to me.)

Why Georgia - John Mayer

I am driving up 85 in the
Kind of morning that lasts all afternoon
just stuck inside the gloom
4 more exits to my apartment but
I am tempted to keep the car in drive
And leave it all behind

These words came out of the radio one day when I was driving on 85, just a few exits from my apartment and I was always tempted to just keep driving and "leave it all behind". But did that once and it turned out bad, now I'm too scared to do it. Even when one of my favorite songwriters tempt me.

Cause I wonder sometimes
About the outcome
Of a still verdictless life

Always wondering about my life, what will be the outcome?

Am I living it right?
Am I living it right?
Am I living it right? The voices whisper this to me
Why Georgia, why?

Georgia, where I went for my failed attempt at a new life. Confirmed my fallibility. Big crash, lots of damage.

I rent a room and I fill the spaces with
Wood in places to make it feel like home
But all I feel's alone
It might be a quarter life crisis
Or just the stirring in my soul

Yeah, me too. I rent a room, and try to make it feel like home, but it just feels lonely. Was my mid-life crisis a "stirring"?

Either way I wonder sometimes
About the outcome
Of a still verdictless life

Am I living it right?
Am I living it right?
Am I living it right?
Why Georgia, why?

So what, so I've got a smile on
But it's hiding the quiet superstitions in my head
Don't believe me
When I say I've got it down

I try to smile so people are not always asking me "what's wrong?", but it is hiding a lot of buzzing voices in my head, and self-inflicted pain. I don't know what I'm doing here.

Everybody is just a stranger but
That's the danger in going my own way
I guess it's the price I have to pay
Still "everything happens for a reason"
Is no reason not to ask myself

I can relate to all those things, trying to be an unique individual. Trying to do what I feel is right instead of just following the crowd. It makes me a stranger to most people, except for a few kindred souls I've found here in the blogosphere. "everything happens for a reason", I'm not too sure about that, but I hope so.

If I am living it right
Am I living it right?
Am I living it right?
Why Georgia, why?

Why did this happen to me? Am I doing this right? Are there answers to those questions the voices keep asking me?


Faking It

Today is the concocted celebration climax of the fake plastic American society.

Today we celebrate the ultimate in worthless entertainment and insults to sports by spending millions and partying around the great U.S. mind control machine to watch the ultimate in micro-managed distraction of another episode of football, American style.

We don't want real sports, we just want something to spend our money on and another reason to drink kool-aid beers, and a bunch of fried food that all tastes the same, fried.

Why? Why don't we appreciate a real sport. One that is played all over the world, soccer. Because that requires too much endurance for any U.S. American athlete to perform, it doesn't allow the raging antics of teams of coaches, and it doesn't use enough complexity, Americans love complexity. Take the simplest task, and see how Americans can screw it up by micro-managing it to death.

Thanks to Genevieve for the Golden pictures

Soccer is a beautiful sport, it is simple, the players play without taking a break every 10 seconds. There is only one coach, sitting quietly one the sidelines, letting the players play the game. Believe it or not, the U.S. is world renown for it's soccer. Women's soccer! hehe.

I won't be turning on the mind-control machine tonight.

That is unless I can find some women's sport to watch, like beach volleyball. Oh yeah! What's the score? I don't know, I just like watching those athlete's play that game.

You see, I can be shallow.

February 2, 2007

Spirit in the Sky

Sirius (constellation Canis Major), the first star to be seen as the day turns to night. The brightest star in our sky, after the sun, can sometimes be seen during daylight hours.

The stars, these are real spirits. These spirits contain the material history of the universe, the past and future of it's evolution, and the mysterious truth of creation.

Here, in the spirits of the sky, a Dog shines bright.

Friday Spirituality Link: