More Recurring Dreams

Some nights, I have vivid dreams.

Sometimes I know I'm dreaming and can control the dream. It's called lucid dreaming. I usually end up flying in those dreams. I was able to do it more when I was younger, but I still have those dreams from time to time now. When I have them, I'm always in a elated mood. Is the mood the cause of the dream, or a symptom of it?

I think my dreams are more vivid and recallable after I have a stressful or eventful day. Yesterday was not stressful, but I didn't get much sleep the night before. I find it hard to sleep the night before a race, the excitement, or anxiousness, has me tossing and turning the night away.

Last night, I had some more recurring situations that haunt me.

The first situation has me in a stairwell trying to go somewhere, but the destination cannot be reached because of locked doors, the stairwell going to the wrong place, or the stairs morphing into something that traps me or cannot be maneuvered.

The second situation is being abandoned by family and friends in various places.

In last night dreams these two situations converged. I was going to the mall with a past girlfriend, and she walks so fast that I lose her and can't catch up to her because of the crowd (I hate crowds). I go into stores looking for her, but can't find her anywhere. In one store I go up to the second floor, look around, then head to the escalator to go back down. When I get to the escalator, it is crowded with people and going up, so I go to the other side, but the escalator is blocked like it is undergoing maintenance. There is another lady there, and she says "How are we supposed to get downstairs". I point to a wall with an exit sign and say "we have to take the stairs". We open the door to the "fire escape" designed stairwell. The stairway is very narrow and we have to lay down to get down the stairs. When we get to the bottom, the door is locked, so we try to head back upstairs, but the stairs are falling apart as I try to go up. I end up climbing up the broken pieces, but I get stuck and come back down. There is a phone on the wall that has an emergency button on it. We use it, and soon a rescuer shows up. He is badly handicapped with a false leg, and many scars, but he climbs down to where we are. He goes to the window (the window wasn't there before), opens it and helps us out. Meanwhile, more people have arrived and are now playing card games in the place we were trapped.

In a second dream, I was with Angry Ballerina, and had been driving around, real fast. Somehow we end up in front of the church, standing around with a bunch of other people, and they are passing around a joint. One of my work supervisors come out of the church, and says "Hey, you can't smoke here", and then she smells the aroma of the burning grass and says "POT! Your smoking pot in front of a church!" Then runs inside. I turn around to see people exiting the church, like services were ending. As I turn back around I see the group I was with scatter for their cars. Angry Ballerina is with some other guy in a truck and getting ready to speed away, she points to the back of the truck and says "Jump in", but she is going fast and I cannot make it to the truck. She speeds away leaving me behind, I can hear her laughing. It begins to rain.

I hear she put a dent in that truck.

Music Post: Me and Bobby Mcgee - Janis Joplin

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