November 7, 2007


Where does the time go?

It's been one week since I "pledged" to write a post for everyday of November at NaBloPoMo.

I have found that two things happen when I try to write a blog post:

  1. Time moves very quick. I look up at the clock, do some blogging, then back a few moments later and an hour has passed.
  2. The time I get to spend surfing blogs, getting news, reading books, and socializing with other humans is dramatically reduced.
Every afternoon I go for a run after work. I can come up with dozens of great ideas for posts. Then, I sit down to put thoughts to blog the next morning, and my blankity-blank mind is blank.

I really wish I could send mental notes to my PC.

I will return to this after I feed the brain some caffeine.

Ok, I'm back after one cup.

So, I pledged write everyday this month, and November and December last year were the most productive of my blogging history. Should be easy. Many voices start nagging me as I walk through stores blaring happy holiday music while homes, work, and markets become over-adorned in pagan winter decorations. Marketing schemers claim that this puts shoppers in a buying mood. Does it? What is wrong with me? It makes me run away in a cold sweat wanting to bash my head against a brick wall. That stuff makes my blood pressure rise and makes me rage. Why? I'm guessing; it is because of so many unhappy childhood memories from that time of year.

Thanksgiving, on the other hand, is one of my favorite holidays. I love the food, and having a day to give thanks for your blessings. My memories of childhood Thanksgiving are of spending that day with other families, or relatives, away from the daily hostile home life I experienced. Those are good memories, away from home. Is it a wonder I shut them out of my life?

I'm always harping about forgiving others who have done misdeeds against you or your loved ones, but I cannot find the strength to forgive them.

Music Post - Pearl Jam's Yellow Ledbetter


Nancybee said...

Cesar says that dogs live in the moment and don't obsess about the psst and the future... wouldn't it be great if we humans could do the same? ;-)

Love you...

cindra said...

Sending mental notes to our computer...that would be groovy.

I'm with you on the holiday stuff. Like I said, we are dropping out this year, away from everyone.

I cannot forgive either, but I am learning to let go for the most part.

Kelly the dog said...

I like that - I cannot forgive either, but I am learning to let go - it takes a lot of energy to hold onto grudges.

azgoddess said...

yes, live in the moment - it's what my grief therapist has requested of me and honestly - i'm a happier person when i do regrets...hugs and peace my friend

Mauigirl said...

I'm sorry you have bad memories of your childhood. Mine were not bad, but I have the same feeling about all the Christmas hype as you do.

A friend said to me two years ago "It is what it is," which is so commonly used it is a cliche', but it took on a profound meaning to me, of living in the moment and letting the past go. There is nothing we can do to change it and the only thing we can change is now. So I try to tell myself this anytime I have a regret, feeling of guilt, or bad feeling about the past for whatever reason. It doesn't always work but it helps.