Just Another Day

Like Hell it is!

Today I will celebrate my two favorite addictions in a two day sleep-deprived drunken runfest.

It starts at 2 this afternoon, with a 5 Mile run on the Chief Ladiga Trail in Jacksonville, Alabama. That is the only serious race which I will be keeping track of my results. After a brief rehydration party, I will make my way over to Birmingham for a private New Years Eve run and party, with plenty of rehydration concoctions, and carbohydrate replenishment snacks. Then I will try to make my way back to Montgomery for a 10 AM New Years Day 5K Chili Run put on by our local club.

Running is a great way to avoid hangovers, as is keeping yourself hydrated with plenty of Guinness. I'm anemic, and Guinness is a brew with a high iron content, and it is very hearty drink, just the ticket for athletic wanna-bees who are looking for high calorie run recovery product. I only drink it for my health.

If you don't hear from me for a while, it means I couldn't find anyone to post bail, or I've become road kill on some suburban cul-de-sac. Don't worry, someone will take care of me when the smell gets too unpleasant.

If I survive, I'll be updating you with my stories of the drunk running dork and his adventures of the next two days.

Have a Safe and Happy New Year. Well, at least be happy, and stay out of the way!

.

When Is Lunch? - I'm Not Hungry

Continued from:
When Is Lunch?
When Is Lunch? - The Next Meal
When Is Lunch? - Let's Go Out
When Is Lunch? - You Make It

.... With the approval of his wife, he planned a trip to see a girlfriend from his teenage years .........

The visit with his old friend was incredible. They had so much in common. They both had a great time together doing all the things he been wishing his wife would do with him.

He decided, without much thought, that he wasn't the problem in the marriage. They had become two different people and their life together was bad for both of them. With encouragement from his old friend, he decided to end his marriage. If it was to make his life better, why did he feel so bad? His intuition said he was doing the wrong thing, but he couldn't see the reason in his head, which was telling him to change his life. Besides, his wife did not put up any fight, in fact she seemed relieved, like she wanted to go her seperate way, also.

He knew he could easily find someone with whom he could share his life, a kindred spirit. He met so many. Before he was divorced, they seemed to be everywhere and anxious to find someone like himself. Then reality set in. He found that what people wanted from life, and what they were willing to do make that life happen, were secondary to the cold comfort they now lived. They were too scared to change.

The next few years of his life were the most confusing and stressful time he had ever seen. Up until now it seemed that everything was just handed to him, like he didn't have any control of what happened, good things happened, and his career flourished, as long as he was going along for the ride, and not steering. Now it seemed he had complete control of his life, and he was scared he wouldn't be able to handle it. Stress, depression, and the feeling of hopelessness were daily visitors. Relationships didn't work out, work was overwhelming, and all the decisions he made for himself had bad consequences, which made him feel worse. He felt he couldn't fix this mistake his life had become.

He started making plans to give away his assets, and end his journey..........

... to be continued ...

.

I Wish You Peace

His words are simple
Love and peace for everyone
When do we begin?

Fa La La - La La - La La La La

Is there a big sign on my back that says "Tag Me"?

Kelly The Black Dog did it this time!

This is my Holiday Gift to my readers. A Christmas MeMe.

The rules: Link to the person that tagged you, and post the rules on your blog. Share Christmas facts about yourself. Tag random people at the end of your post, and include links to their blogs. Let each person know that they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.

1. Wrapping or gift bags? Bags. I'm too impatient for wrapping.

2. Real or artificial tree? When I was in homes that celebrated Christmas as a child, we always had real trees. When I had my own family, we had artificial, just because it was more frugal, and easy. Now I don't put up a tree. Because I'm lazy. and no one would notice anyway.

3. When do you put up the tree? As a child it was the week of Christmas, as an adult, it was mid-December. Of course now, it is never.

4. When do you take the tree down? New Years Eve or Day.

5. Do you like eggnog? Yes, I like Egg Nog, but I don't drink it, it is so full of saturated fat. I found Bolthouse Farms Perfectly Protein Vanilla Chai Tea (made with Soy) tastes just as good as Egg Nog and is healthy, so that is what I drink now instead of Egg Nog. I drink it spiked.

6. Favorite gift received as a child? Legos

7. Do you have a nativity scene? No and never had one as a child.

8. Worst Christmas gift you ever received? Can't think of any.

9. Mail or e-mail Christmas cards? I've never done Christmas Cards.

10. Favorite Christmas movie? A Christmas Carol. I have dreams similar to Scrooge's.

11. When do you start shopping for Christmas? Do all my shopping on-line (now), and wait until the last minute. I cannot stand stores this time of year. I have panic attacks and retreat to a dark corner for days if I go Christmas shopping.

12. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas? Snickerdoodles and Dark-Chocolate Covered Marzipan.

13. Clear lights or colored on the tree? When there was a tree, it was always colored lights, but I prefer clear now.

14. Favorite Christmas song? Happy Christmas (War is Over) - John Lennon. I cannot listen to that song and not get tears. I wish others would understand the meaning of those words.

15. Travel at Christmas or stay home?
Stay home.

16. Can you name all of Santa’s reindeer?
Yes. I can also recall the most famous reindeer of all and Olive, the other reindeer.

17. Angel on the tree top or a star?
Star.

18. Open the presents Christmas Eve or Christmas Morning?
Morning. As a child, sometimes it was Christmas Eve.

19. Most annoying thing about this time of year?
Not being able to go to the store. I won't, it is just too degrading.

20. Do you decorate your tree in any specific theme or color?
No.

21. What do you leave for Santa?
Cookies and Milk.

22. Least favorite holiday song?
"We Wish You a Merry Christmas"

23. Favorite ornament?
None

24. Family tradition?
My childhood families? Dysfunction. My own family? Grandma's (in-laws) House.

25. Ever been to Midnight Mass or late-night Christmas Eve services?
No. Never.

I tag Mauigirl (she knows why), Cindra (Where have you been?), and Nancy (another non-traditionalist, and she loves to get tagged).

.

Twelve Twenty One

Only few days left before we celebrate how much Capitalism means to the U.S.A.

There's a "War" on it. Well, you can talk about there being a "reason" for this holiday, but few actually show it. They say actions speak louder than words, well show me what it means to you, quit just talking about it.

In my honest, humble, freaky opinion:

It should be a universal holiday to celebrate the beginning of life (the birth of a child) who is a child of a higher power (aren't we ALL). Conceiving a baby is the only way to keep human life on this planet, so it should be treated as a high honor. It doesn't matter if it is an poor unwed mother, teenagers discovering the beauty of human intimacy, or soul conceived in a relationship betrayal. It is a honor, and those receiving this honor should be placed on pedestal, there is no shame in any pregnancy.

Those not wishing to receive this honor or the responsibility it carries, should not be forced into receiving it by the judgements of others. It is intensely personal, just like spiritual beliefs, and cannot be applied uniformly to a species with very diverse lives and personalities.

Birth control and safe legal abortion must remain available to ensure the humans have the education and means necessary to make this life long decision, and to honor the sanctity of life. Those decisions must be made with logic and reason, not state or church control. The metaphoric "God" is in control of all our actions, and whatever the result, it is "His" decision.

That way we can have a holiday to honor the birth of a child for the "miracle" it is, the creation of life by a higher power in which we are the instruments of its actions.

.

When Is Lunch? - You Make It

The continuing mediocrity of a some nameless man. Continued from:
When Is Lunch?
When Is Lunch? - The Next Meal
When Is Lunch? - Let's Go Out

He had contacted and reconnected with girlfriends from his youth. He started thinking about them too much.

He liked learning about them and what their lives had been like. For the time being, all he wanted, was someone to write, someone who was more anonymous then his current circle of friends, but yet knew him. He needed to tell someone about what was going on in his life and in his head. Someone who was distant, but close.

He dark mood seem to lift as he talked to these past friends, but as he compared his life to theirs, he was embarrassed to tell them he had it so good for a long time. Here he was, with such a good life, and becoming depressed and miserable, when so many others have not had such luck.

Sometimes, you have to know a little misery to know how good you really have it.

He started thinking about one of these friends too much, and received messages and calls stating she was thinking about him all the time. He wanted to see her. His only intention was friendship, but his mind did wonder about "what if". He didn't think it was possible to change his life from what it was now, and he wasn't ready to think about that or change his life. The thing he wanted most was to keep in touch with old friends.

With the approval of his wife, he planned to trip to see her.........

.... to be continued .....

.

New Tricks for an Old Dog

Mauigirl tagged me.

I already did my last tag. It was titled A Tag to End All Tags.

It's not that I don't like these fun "assignments", but it feels like homework. Now I got this voice in my head saying "They're not going to like you unless you do the tag", and another catatonic consciousness repeating "must do tag".

After I finish the tag, I'm always glad for the easy way to come up with a blog post. Even though I might say I dislike tags, I really like them, but I'm afraid of the commitment thing, so I try avoid them.

Make sense to you? Yeah, me neither.

I put it off for a week, and the voices keep getting louder. OKAY, DAMN it, I'll do it.

Here's the Tag: You must write about five classes you would like to take if you could make up your own curriculum. AND- and this is important, ONE of them must come from your tagger's list.

How to Watch George W. Bush Make a Speech Without Screaming at the Television:

Learn to how to channel your anger into more constructive reactions than throwing hammers and rocks at the Nationalistic Conservative Traitors of America when they make speeches that show this nation being led by the same people who idolize Homer and Bart Simpson.


Living in the South:

Topics: Eat Pork at every meal. Dressing in winter clothes when the temperatures hit the frigid 50's. Where to go to Church. The Art of Fried Food. Life without dentistry, vegetables, or higher education. Mobile Home real estate. Inter-Familial relationships. Banjo Playing. This isn't really a class, but a way to understand (and make fun of) southern life.


Dream Interpretation:

Are those recurring dreams nagging you? Are you frustrated with situations that have you dreaming you're trapped and wake up in a cold sweat? Learn to interpret your dreams, take control of the unconscious mind, and resolve unknown issues you don't realize are making you a mental wreck. Bonus: Lucid Dreaming: Learn to control your dreams.


Holiday Shopping 101:

Pick the perfect gift every time. The art of browsing stores for hours to come up with bad choices for those undecideds. How to tune out the ugly holiday decorations and awful music that usually make you want to bash your head against a brick wall. Learn to be cheerful, full of holiday spirit, and completely clueless about the evils of the holidays. End your craving for World Peace by becoming part of the problem that fuels the world's war machines. Become one of the constantly consuming masses which purchase tons of useless junk nobody wants.


Herbalism:

Remember the days of old when Grandmother strapped a warm mustard pack to our congested chests when we had a cold? Or used a warmed tea bag to rid pink eye, a clove of garlic to stop an earache, or prepared a mixture of chaparral and olive oil as a cure for itchy skin? Herbs or medicinal plants have a long history in treating disease. In traditional Chinese medicine, for example, the written history of herbal medicine goes back over 2000 years and herbalists in the West have used “weeds” equally long to treat that which ails us. We are all familiar with the virtues of Garlic, Chamomile, Peppermint, Lavender, and other common herbs. Treat conditions naturally without all the toxic side effects of the pharmaceutical corporations drugs.

I will not tag anyone, unless you want me to, then consider yourself tagged.

If you'd like to participate, then jump in and join the fun. Clothing is optional.

.

Toddling Blogger

It's been two years today since I started these adventures in Bloggersville.

The First Post was a statement of my unclear motive behind these missives.

One year later and I still could not find a focus for my random rants and opinions. This has become an outlet for the voices screaming in my head about what's going on in the world.

Now after two years, I still do not have a clear purpose behind these posts, other than to record my thoughts and voices about the uncertainity that, for lack of a better term, is called life.

This is my therapy.

To all my fellow blogging buddies and kindred spirits I've met along the way:

I Toast you all. Blog On.

Aimless

A holiday post from Fred over at Morning Martini reminded me of this old holiday song.

Snoopy's Christmas

I hope this season brings you Peace.



My Annual List of wishes:

World Peace.
World without Hunger.
A Healthy Earth.
A Poem or a Song.
More Diversity.
Clean Air.
Piece of Pumpkin Pie.
Acme Corporation Rocket Powered Running Shoes. (Never mind, already bought them)
Rain.

My life has no purpose, no direction, no aim, no meaning, and yet I'm Happy. I can't figure it out. What am I doing right? - Snoopy

.

Fruit of Knowledge

Some religious organizations are unhappy with The Golden Compass, it’s sad to see those, whose faith is weak, have a need to blame others for their lack of it.

Thanks to the controversy about The Golden Compass from these phony religious groups, more people will now want to see this movie, and read the books.

Their objections and protests only serve to increase the popularity of the entertainment they wish to ban.

I do my own research:

The story has nothing to do with atheism or “killing God”. The third book of the “His Dark Materials” trilogy is about revealing God, but that part of the story is NOT in The Golden Compass.

The author is agnostic and teaches others to use critical thinking skills when dealing with spiritual issues.

The books ARE about rejecting authoritarianism and the corruption of power. According to the Catholic Church, the story is "entirely in harmony with Catholic teaching."

In the story the “Magisterium” is used as a metaphor for the Catholic church. Magisterium is also the technical ecclesiastical term for the authority of the church.

The official response from the Catholic group who monitors how Catholic’s are portrayed in Hollywood gave this review about The Golden Compass:

From article on CNN:

The U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops' Office for Film and Broadcasting gave the film, which is rated PG-13, a warm review. The film is not blatantly anti-Catholic but a "generalized rejection of authoritarianism," it said.

While noting the story's "spirit of rebellion and stark individualism," the office said Lyra and her allies' stand for free will in opposition to the coercive force of the Magisterium is "entirely in harmony with Catholic teaching."

Sister Rose Paccate, director of the Pauline Center of Media Studies in Culver City, California, said the books portray benevolence toward children and a God figure -- just one that's much different than the one Christians know.

She sees irony in calls to shun the film, considering that one of Pullman's central themes is that people should not follow orders and forfeit critical thought.

"If you just say 'no' to your kids without engaging in a conversation, they're going to see the movie anyway and all you're teaching them is power, not really teaching your values," Paccate said. "If we have faith, what are we afraid of?"

Donna Freitas, a visiting assistant professor of religion at Boston University, goes a step further, calling the books a "theological masterpiece." Pullman's intent aside, she views the trilogy as a treatise on Christian belief.

To Freitas, the series' mysterious "Dust" -- portrayed in the books as connected to original sin -- represents the Holy Spirit. Pullman is not attacking religion but those who use power to corrupt, she said.

U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops rates the film "intelligent and well-crafted entertainment."

But don’t take my word for it. Every person has a head on his shoulders to view and apply common sense to all the input coming in from the world. The more information a person has, the better decisions they can make. Do your own research, and don't believe everything you are told.

Just like religious bibles, these books are only stories, to deliver to the reader, a message, a lesson, or moral theme, from the view of the writer. It is up to the reader to internalize and understand the intended morals of the story, in their own way.

If you believe everything you read, it would be better if you didn't read.

If you can't tell the difference between fantasy and reality, it would be better if you didn't speak.

I will put this trilogy on my reading list, they have piqued my interest.

I wonder how much controversy Lois Lowry's The Giver will receive when it is made into a movie. It is in pre-production now and I have been anticipating it's release for awhile. It is also the first of a trilogy about an artificial society created to control people and keep them from knowing the truth about reality. Religious groups have also wished to ban those books, but many schools have put it on their "required" reading lists.

.

When Is Lunch? - Let's Go Out

continued from When Is Lunch? - The Next Meal

His mental health suffered a breakdown. His outlook for his life, and his family, become negative.

He felt like he was constantly working to improve his life, but loved ones in his life made comments he took as opposition to the things he now enjoyed. The person closest to him didn't share the same views anymore. He started spending more time alone.

His father's health deteriorated despite warnings from his doctors to change his habits and diet. His father aged very much in a short time, his health problems and later death did not surprise him. He didn't feel sadness, he felt relief. Later he felt guilt and shame that he couldn't shed a tear for only person from his childhood who showed love for him.

He became depressed. He wondered why he couldn't feel love anymore. It seemed people were being purposely contradictory towards him. His military career was coming to end. "Now what do I do?", he thought.

He wondered how old friends were doing. He started looking up old girlfriends. Even though they were military brats, scattered around the country, he found them. He wasn't confident enough to see them, for now he only wanted to connect with them, learn what their lifes were like. They were flattered, and assumed other intentions.

He started thinking about them too much ...........

to be continued ........

Finality

The only reason that some humans in the U.S. are labeled "illegal" is because we created those laws to make them illegal. We made them "illegal" in our stolen land.

They're illegal, so not only can we blame them and hate them for problems WE created, we also don't have to treat them fairly because they are not "citizens".

Aren't these humans also "endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness"?

What group will be the next one to blame after we "solved" the illegal immigration problem.

Hitler did the same thing with Jews.

Then Gays,
then Handicapped People,
then the mentally ill,
then dissentors and his political opposition.

He made those humans "illegal".

What will be our "Final Solution"?


Hanukkah begins at sundown tonight. There's only enough oil for one night.

Have some of these Jewish epicurean delights: Sufganiyot

Shalom Aleichem!

.

Nothing

"I got somethin' to say, an' then I ain't gonna say no more........
- Mayella in To Kill A Mockingbird by Harper Lee"

Don't think you'll get that lucky. I have lots to say about what I don't like, and what I think is wrong with the world.

The world really isn't changing that much, it is me. Once, I once had a more positive outlook, but time has wasted my mind, and made me more critical.

When I was in my twenties, with two small kids, I couldn't believe how much my parents and in-laws complained about my generation, the way the government is run, how the ways of the world are not to their liking anymore. I didn't share their views, and couldn't understand why they were so negative about everything, and constantly complained.

I swore that I'd never be like that.

It happened anyway. Getting older sucks!

.

Final NaBloPoMo Post

I can't blog everyday, I don't have that much to say. Besides, when the apathy mood kicks, as it does every few weeks without fail, I don't care, and can't find any reason to blog. That is sure to hit me.

Silly me, I committed, thinking some days I could just get by posting a deep thought, silly rhyme, interesting picture, or maybe recycling posts that I believed had some merit. There are millions of ideas to fuel a daily blog post. Then why do we sometimes sit at blank edit window and can't come up with a single thought? It's not that I don't have anything to write about, it's that I have too many ideas, and making a choice has never been easy for me. Don't give me choices, tell me what to write about! NO, too easy. I have to decide. This is a portal into my voices which give me an eternity of endless entertainment and keep me from a peaceful nights sleep

I'm both elated and saddened by the last day of NaBloPoMo. It gave me a reason to blog, spray some WD-40 on the cogs in my mind and get them tuned up a bit, but I'll be glad that I don't have that commitment to write everyday, and can use the extra time to polish the thoughts, ideas and opinions presented here.

Tomorrow is December,
time for Christians proudly state "To Hell with our Idol's lessons, Lets party",
we still have traitors running this country,
the BAMA locals are still celebrating their ignorance,
biblical religions are still trying to destroy logic, reason and the pursuit of happiness,
humanity is still on an ego trip,
and there is still much injustice, abuse of power, and lack of critical thinking skills to fuel many posts to come.

" ...but what is RIGHT with world ..."

Sometimes your gut instinct, intuition, feelings are right on the money. Sometimes you have to stop and think about how your actions will effect others. No person is completely isolated, everything we do effects others in some way.

I will continue the When Is Lunch? story. Stay tuned.

A Joke for the last day of NaBloPoMo:
After the Christening of his baby brother in church, Jason sobbed all the way home in the back seat of the car. His father asked him three times what was wrong. Finally, the boy replied, "That preacher said he wanted us brought up in a Christian home, but I want to stay with you guys."

Double NaBloPoMo Music Post: Take the Long Way Home & Goodbye Stranger - Supertramp

.

Ipso Factor - Ultimate Freak

The last of my daily routine posts Ipso Facto series detailing the freakishness of a nonconformist who is frightened by variety.

18:00 - MWF - Daily Walk, T-Th - Clean, Laundry.
18:30 - MWF - Still Walking, T-Th - Surf (TV, Internet), Shout obscenities at the idiots in power.
19:00 - Brush Teeth then Shower or bath. Some Tuesdays I watch Nova, one of the few series I still like, that and 60 Minutes (I can't believe Andy Rooney is still doing his commentary).
19:15 - Read blogs, or book. Sometimes I read while sitting in a chair, music in background, other times I read while soaking in a hot bathtub. The blogging has taken away from my time to read. I used to read at least one book a week, pulling a book from Modern Library's 100 Best Novels of the Twentieth Century (Reader's List). Over the last year, it has been only one book a month. I find blogging much more interesting, but I need to get back to reading those novels.
20:30 - Secret Relaxation Technique. I could go public, but it would put a serious dent in my free time, so I keep it to myself and maybe an intimate friend, once or twice a year.
21:00 - 21:30 - Bedtime. Hey, I have to be up by 5:00 AM. I will be up for an hour sometime during the night.

Weekends - If I'm racing, on Saturday morning I'm up at 3:00 AM to have my breakfast, and have it completely digested by race time. I don't sleep very well before a race, so getting up is no problem. The time between 3:00 AM and race time flies by so quickly, I barely have time to do all I need to do to prepare. I have to have things a certain way, or my mojo is out of whack. You know what I'm talking about!

If I'm not racing, I do the same thing, but go out on a long run in the neighborhoods. I enjoy these runs more, because I feel better after a long slow run, than a race, but I enjoy socializing with other runners at a race, so each has it's benefits.

The rest of the day: Lunch, Nap, Veg Out or get a cup of coffee and browse a bookstore.

On Sunday - Long Run, Grocery Store, Mall (except November and December, I will not go anywhere near a mall or other retail store), bookstore, lunch, nap, TV or Internet surf, another short fast run, then my usual routine before bedtime (see above).

Okay, now you can quit banging your head against the wall. To me this IS fun. Really, it is. Really, Really.

Music: The End Of The Line - Traveling Wilburys

.

The Hood (repost)

(Previously Posted, recycled and renewed:)

Because I consider myself a temporary resident in this city , I live in an apartment. I never thought I'd be here this long, over four years now, but I still consider this arrangement temporary.

We have a great diversity of cultures in this neighborhood. Young and old, students, immigrants, factory workers, office workers, many different ethnicities, religions, many varied interests and lifestyles.

Since building a new Korean car manufacturing plant here, there are many Koreans living in this community. Some speak English well, others not at all. When I'm out for my walks and runs around the neighborhood I see many Korean kids out playing, they are always very polite, courteous. I love to hear them speak their native tongue to each other, its so beautiful, and many times they will write with chalk on the sidewalk, writing the Korean symbols for their language, looks very artistic.

We have a lot of Indians living here also, along with Muslims, orthodox Jews, etc, etc. You know one thing I've noticed. These "immigrants" to Alabama, are much friendlier, more courteous, and more interesting to talk to than native Montgomerians. They get along with everybody and each other without any problems. People that are from here are not friendly, and don't want to get to know you, or just stop and talk for while.

Not all of Alabama is this way, Montgomery is an exception. I lived in Birmingham for three years, and the people there were full of that Southern Hospitality we've heard all heard of, so was Atlanta. I also visited Auburn many times, the people are so much nicer there. Why not here? One reason is this place still has racial tensions. Most schools and churches are still mostly segregated here, not completely, most mostly. Black public schools, and white "Christian" and private schools. Go into any restaurant or business, and the employees are mostly of one race. Let me tell anyone who ever thinks of coming here, Montgomery is not a nice place to live. I have lived in eight different places in the U.S. and Europe, and Montgomery is the worst, in my judgement, because the life-long residents here are so unfriendly.

Thanks to the "immigrants" that live here, I have found friendly people, who have noticed the same things about Montgomerians that I've point out here. The running club I belong to is mostly people who have moved here from other places, and military people. I can't figure that out why people are so snobbish here.

Maybe it can be explained by one of the questions someone from Montgomery asked me, when I first arrived in town? They asked "Where do you go to Church?"

They seemed upset when I laughed.

Song for the Day: Alabama - Neil Young

.

When Is Lunch? - The Next Meal

Continued from: When Is Lunch?

He ran away from home.

He joined the military. They gave him more food then he had ever seen, a warm place to sleep, and a direction in life. Basic Training was like a pleasant vacation. The drill instructors, while stern and forceful, enforced fairness and teamwork that he had never known.

After basic training he was sent to schools, trained in the ways of the military and the modern world, and sent out to do those tasks. He received honors, awards, praise, promotions, and he felt a honest kinship with those he worked with.

He also met a girl and fell in love. He finally met someone that understood him and didn't want to run away away when he starting getting serious. They married, had two wonderful kids, and eventually a house in the suburbs and a golden retriever. He was living the dream.

His world was fantastic. For a long time he thought he was so lucky to have such a good life. A little too lucky. "You don't deserve this" said a voice in his head.

He turned around one day and the people who he thought supported him, were laughing at him behind his back, insulting him. The people who he thought understood him, were making jokes about him.

Then, after eighteen years of faithful service, the military told him he wasn't good enough to be in the military anymore.

"What happened?", he thought, "I did everything I'm supposed to do."

His mental health suffered a breakdown.......

..... to be continued .....

Story Soundtrack: I Alone - Live

.

Missing Soul

Consumerism is making us sick with sadness.

Sounds Of The Season: Money - Pink Floyd

Blame

I was very busy today, so this is all I got for my daily post.

I have been around many teenagers this long weekend, and I noticed that I have more in common with them than people my own age. (I'm more comfortable around them than the oldsters.) Scary! When will I grow up?

Music Appreciation: Teenagers - My Chemical Romance

My Chemical Romance Lyrics
Teenagers Lyrics

When Is Lunch?

Once upon a time...

...there lived a boy who didn't understand this world.

He was always sad. His parents bought him toys, but that didn't make him happy. He wanted someone to play with, but the other kids would only break his toys or steal them. They'd laugh at him, beat him up, and make fun of him

So he would sit in the corner, imagining a better place . He would make up stories in his head about better places and better people. His parents and the other kids ridiculed him if he told them what he was thinking, so he stopped telling them. He learned people make themselves feel good by stepping on and taking advantage of other people. He didn't like that.

Then he grew up. He grew up too fast. He needed to find someone to trust, someone who was like himself. He ran away from home.

..... to be continued

Music: I'm Not Sick, But I'm Not Well - Lit

.

LimerNick

There once was a blogger named niCk
His head voices said he was slick
Promised to blog every day
Then the voices went away
Now he only hears the clock tick

Daily Music Post: Questions 67 and 68 - Chicago

Gratitude

I thank the universe that I'm a whole person, and I can understand the blessings I been granted for this brief moment of consciousness.

I'm thankful to the people who have showed me that bigotry, hatred, blame, and vengeance, never heal wounds.

I'm thankful for those people who care about me, although I'm at a loss to understand why.

I'm thankful for the mistakes I have made. I am human.

I'm thankful for the crises that pass my way, to show that I can be defeated and still go on living.

I'm thankful for the low times in my life, to balance me.

I'm thankful for pleasure and pain, so I know I feel.

I'm thankful for passion, it is the life force of nature.

I'm thankful for blue skies, stormy weather, the sun, clouds, the trees, the rocks, the stars, the earth, the cold, the heat, and all of the parts of the universe that have come together to create my life and the lives with whom I share this universe.

I'm thankful for Music: No Myth - Michael Penn

.

Three Three Three

Aren't numbers great.

The number 333 is one of the greatest. Three three's.

Today is my three hundred thirty third post on this blog.

We can take any number in the infinity of numbers, and assign a meaning that has some cosmic, spiritual, astrological, historical, or other inconsequential relation, and that number can become a symbol of love, hate, evil, or other attribute that we will try to use to determine the meaning of life.

Every number has a meaning.

333 = 3^2·37, Mertens function returns 0, Harshad number. Meaning 'MUCH LOVE' (more 3's = more hearts)

In High School, room 333 is the room you went to make out.

Yep, I'm running out of random thoughts and the voices haven't been as loud as they were in the past, so you get a bunch of nonsense.

You all have a safe and wonderful trip/visit/feast. I'll be having dinner with friends from a different dimension. First, I'll be running a 10K for a Jewish Community Center in Birmingham. I give thanks that my legs have given my such a wonderful life.

Music for 333 post: Cry Baby - 333

.

And I Ran...

♫ ♫♪ ♪ ♪♫
"I Ran so far away, ay ay,
I just ran, I ran all night and day.
I couldn't get away "
♫ ♫♪ ♪ ♪♫

This business with Iran. Why?

(WARNING: Today's post is not well thought out, it is just a knee jerk reaction to current headlines about the downward direction of this nation)

I don't think The U.S. has the right to control who has whatever weapons they need to protect themselves, or how they generate energy for their infrastructure.

Meanwhile, Saudi Arabia, which is a haven for terrorists and Iraqi insurgents, and punishes victims of rape, continues to be an U.S. ally, because they control a major portion of our addiction. In their heads, if a women was raped, she must of caused the men to act that way. The world needs to stop dealing with these primitive cultures that rule in unwritten laws determined from mythical misogynistic writings of ego maniacal men.

The U.S. needs to go into oil consumption rehab, immediately, and stop supporting and rewarding countries that brutilizes it own citizens.

This is going to make me unpopular. I think the way to deal with these barbaric countries, to cut our consumption of foriegn oil, and to pay for the failures of our current executive administration, is to raise the taxes on a gas until the price is ten dollars a gallon. (GASP!) I can easily support this because I, unlike most U.S. citizens, am not dependent on my car. I can do all my shopping, activities, commuting to work, without needing my car. It is surprising the alternatives people can come up with when they are necessary.

I know it won't happen, we are too shallow in this country to support such a moral and ethical plan, the U.S. no longer has a soul. Wealth is more important than human rights.

I could move to Bhutan, and find happiness.

Music: I Ran - Flock of Seagulls

.

Don't Buy It

Black Friday is coming.

I think this day is named appropriately. It is when the darkness of the holiday spending season begins. The holiday shopping season, that sounds so dreadful to me. It actually began before Halloween this year, and will soon be a year long enticement to get people to buy things for people who have enough resources to get these items themselves if they wanted them. I will not accept any material goods during the winter festivals, but I will accept pictures, poems, songs, alliterations, haiku, or any gift requiring creative ways not to enrich any corporation.

I will celebrate black Friday as I always do, by participating in Buy Nothing Day.

Like last year, I will extend this honor to the whole weekend, perhaps the whole season.

I would like to start a movement, for people to boycott this whole holiday season until our Iraqi occupation is brought to an end. Buy Nothing Chr-stm-s has already been thought of at the same site as the Buy Nothing Day. I support this, but for a different reason. Peaceful Inaction, remember that?

What happened to my Chr-stm-s spirit? It was destroyed by a culture where the rich give to the rich, while the poor get poorer and receive none of the bounties of our land of plenty. Why has name of Christ been subverted into such evil? If it were done Christ's way, the poor would be the only ones getting gifts and receiving feasts. Am I wrong? Why don't the followers of the Christian idol act like they know anything about that man or his teachings? That would be a cause to celebrate.

Did you know you could use your mind to create bowls of rice, a few grains at a time, to feed the hungry, and become more intelligent while you did it. Play Free Rice, and see if you don't become addicted to this word quiz. It's all good, an addiction to feed the hungry.

Song: 99 Luftballons - Nena

.

More Recurring Dreams

Some nights, I have vivid dreams.

Sometimes I know I'm dreaming and can control the dream. It's called lucid dreaming. I usually end up flying in those dreams. I was able to do it more when I was younger, but I still have those dreams from time to time now. When I have them, I'm always in a elated mood. Is the mood the cause of the dream, or a symptom of it?

I think my dreams are more vivid and recallable after I have a stressful or eventful day. Yesterday was not stressful, but I didn't get much sleep the night before. I find it hard to sleep the night before a race, the excitement, or anxiousness, has me tossing and turning the night away.

Last night, I had some more recurring situations that haunt me.

The first situation has me in a stairwell trying to go somewhere, but the destination cannot be reached because of locked doors, the stairwell going to the wrong place, or the stairs morphing into something that traps me or cannot be maneuvered.

The second situation is being abandoned by family and friends in various places.

In last night dreams these two situations converged. I was going to the mall with a past girlfriend, and she walks so fast that I lose her and can't catch up to her because of the crowd (I hate crowds). I go into stores looking for her, but can't find her anywhere. In one store I go up to the second floor, look around, then head to the escalator to go back down. When I get to the escalator, it is crowded with people and going up, so I go to the other side, but the escalator is blocked like it is undergoing maintenance. There is another lady there, and she says "How are we supposed to get downstairs". I point to a wall with an exit sign and say "we have to take the stairs". We open the door to the "fire escape" designed stairwell. The stairway is very narrow and we have to lay down to get down the stairs. When we get to the bottom, the door is locked, so we try to head back upstairs, but the stairs are falling apart as I try to go up. I end up climbing up the broken pieces, but I get stuck and come back down. There is a phone on the wall that has an emergency button on it. We use it, and soon a rescuer shows up. He is badly handicapped with a false leg, and many scars, but he climbs down to where we are. He goes to the window (the window wasn't there before), opens it and helps us out. Meanwhile, more people have arrived and are now playing card games in the place we were trapped.

In a second dream, I was with Angry Ballerina, and had been driving around, real fast. Somehow we end up in front of the church, standing around with a bunch of other people, and they are passing around a joint. One of my work supervisors come out of the church, and says "Hey, you can't smoke here", and then she smells the aroma of the burning grass and says "POT! Your smoking pot in front of a church!" Then runs inside. I turn around to see people exiting the church, like services were ending. As I turn back around I see the group I was with scatter for their cars. Angry Ballerina is with some other guy in a truck and getting ready to speed away, she points to the back of the truck and says "Jump in", but she is going fast and I cannot make it to the truck. She speeds away leaving me behind, I can hear her laughing. It begins to rain.

I hear she put a dent in that truck.

Music Post: Me and Bobby Mcgee - Janis Joplin

.

Must Post on Blog

So, I'm doing this "post everyday thing" on NaBloPoMo.

I'm sitting at the PC and I'm thinking "I don't want to post, I want to surf and listen to music". The OCD won't let me do anything until I finish this thing I signed up for, DAMN, I hate commitments. This is why I don't ever sign-up for activities, because I obsess over it until it is done.

What do I write about today? I got nothing for you.

I could tell you about another racing Saturday I have planned. These races are always updated, with results, at my Race Blog. After the Race I'm going to talk to my running buddies and try to get someone to join me for an additional 5.5 mile run in memory of Ryan Shay. This will not be a race, but a run at a easy pace, to remember a fellow runner.

Then I'm coming home, hopefully having lunch already, and taking a nap. I really enjoy napping. I have been a napper ever since high school, I just feel so much better in the afternoon after a good siesta. Maybe I wouldn't be so tired in the afternoon if I didn't get up so early, but I love the morning, and I find it impossible to sleep in, I have never understood how people do that.

Exciting, isn't it. If anything blog worthy happens during the race, I'll update the this post, if not, this is all you get today.

Some days, I have no deep thoughts. Just living.

Saturday Running Song: Heart of the Sunrise - Yes

Crisp, Cool, Refreshed

On Tuesday and Wednesday I could feel the unwanted black dog trying to come in the back door. Fatigue and annoying pains were starting again. DAMN, I thought, the last two weeks were so great, why can't that mood stick around. DON'T LEAVE ME!

I noticed something, the temperatures on Tuesday and Wednesday were pushing 80 degrees, but on Thursday a cold front came through with some pleasant coolness. Yesterday was cool and breezy and this morning I had frost on my car. My mood, and pains have suddenly recovered.

Am I so old now that weather, and barometric pressure effect my moods and body? Could it be true? We are in "high" pressure now, and, well, I feel "high".

No, it can't be, I love rainy weather. Clouds and storms turn me on. I love running in the rain. This is the first time I've noticed, twice this month so far, that high pressure makes me feel good, also. Maybe it's just the cooler temps and crisp, dry air. I'm going to have to start keeping track of weather and my moods. This summer, this last, long, miserably hot summer, I was in a terrible mood most of the time, with aching tendinitis, and we had "high" pressure most of that time.

I went on a seven mile run last night and it felt great. The last half mile I always time myself to make sure my pace is good, and I was running faster than normal, and felt like I taking it slow. HUH?

Maybe someone is playing a joke on me and putting something extra in my "green" tea. Have you ever noticed that green tea smells like grass?

Serious Musical Mood: Question - Moody Blues

.

Ipso Facto - Continued

More of the daily routine if a slightly OCD application developer in a production technical support position.......

11:00 - Eat Lunch at Desk while completing tasks, or surfing the Internet
12:30 - Make sure there's coffee for the Afternoon Coffee Break, if not, make it
13:00 - Afternoon coffee break: Coffee, Apple, 2 Mile walk (if weather is nice, and tasks are completed)
14:00 - Complete tasks or send out status.
15:00 - Drive Home. I hate traffic, I hate drivers who don't know what going on around them, I loath people talking on cell phones while driving. This is the worst time of my day, and the traffic isn't even bad here, but many idiots are on the road, anyway. On days I have to drive home in rush hour, I feel like suicide or causing massive destruction to anything within reach. (Believe it or not, I used to drive in D.C. traffic, Northern Virginia, I-95 from Dale City to the Pentagon. It didn't take long before I was using the slug lines, buses, and trains)
15:30 - 16:00 - Check personal email, blog, news, weather
16:00 - Tuesday and Thursday, afternoon run. Other days, Veg out, cook dinner, take a walk, or sit in park and watch neighbors fish while catching up on the local gossip.
17:00 - Dinner. I'm rarely late. Sometimes I can't wait and start early. I'm always hungry, and it's a struggle to wait for dinner on some days. I usually start dinner by watching the news, get bored and channel surf or watch part of a movie.
17:30 - Clean up, wash dishes (by hand, it's only me and I don't use that many dishes)

If you think that's the ultimate in boring dorkiness, just wait until I tell you about my hypo-exciting evening and non-stop weekend monotony, next week.

"Get Crazy with the Cheese-Whiz": Loser - Beck

.

Choices

The choices we make in life determine who we are, or will be.

Does it? Really?

Are we the product of wise or poor decisions? Do we really have a choice of who we are or will become?

Free will is a popular topic on the Dilbert Blog. He contends that we really don't have free will, just the illusion of free will and in the end the the choices we make have no effect on who we are, or on the evolution of the human race or the planet. It is who we are that effect our choices.

I have to agree with his theory. There are many views I have over the years that effect who I am, and there is no way I can change this just be willing it.

I wish I was an extrovert, they seem to be much happier than introverts like myself.

If I could, I would have faith in a supreme being and an eternal place for our salvation, then I could have better peace of mind. (Most religionists don't have faith, or peace of mind either, so I'm not talking about conforming to some religion.)

Do we choose to love someone, or is that connection or preference for another person pre-wired into us?

I could go on about how certain people would choose to be someone else, or have a different lifestyle than the one have, to make their life easier. Pretending to be something you are not, ruins lives, and causes internal mental and emotional damage. However, accepting and being who you are can create much hardship and turmoil from external groups and the society you have to interact with on a daily basis.

You could say that I used free will to create today's post. Well, if I didn't, would my view on the subject be any different?

Song Post: A Murder Of One - Counting crows

Recurring Dreams

I have recurring dreams.

It's not the same dream, but the situations in the dreams that are recurring.

Many of my dreams take place in High School. I'm guessing because we develop and expand much of brain capacity during these years, many of our dreams use these memories. I have many dreams from this time in life, not only is school the subject, but family, and relationships of this time.

The two situations that are recurring are: I cannot find my classroom, and I've forgotten my locker combination and can't get to my books or homework.

I believe dreams are just the result of how the brain works to store, recover, and use long term memories, and doesn't reveal some kind of mental state of the dreamer. However, the more traumatic the memory, the more vivid the dream. I still have dreams about my abusive step-mother, and having those dreams still make me rage against the way she treated me. I rarely have dreams about my birth mother, who I lived with until I was eleven.

There is another oddity about my dreams. I have been divorced for over seven years, but in my dreams, I'm almost always still with my ex-wife, and my kids are still teens.

I don't even know where to start to interpret what these are supposed to mean, if anything.

Music Post: Dreams - Van Halen

.

This and That

Too many voices just make a steady hum, humming leads to songs, to singing and next thing you know there is a song in my head to replace the voices. I think my own natural chemicals are keeping me high, and songs in my head. I can't focus on anything to write about, the music keeps getting in the way. Soooooooo, I'll just go give myself another jolt of endorphins while I got the music in me. My legs just can't keep still.

Later, got to run. Have you seen my running shoes?

"We gotta get out while were young
`cause tramps like us, baby we were born to run"

Song of the Day: One Time One Night By Los Lobos

.

Exclusivity

Happy Sunday! The weather is great, and I have a the whole day to celebrate life. The universe has granted us a precious gift.

"I want to run
I want to hide
I want to tear down the walls
That hold me inside...."

"we can't go 'round measuring our goodness by what we don't do, by what we deny ourselves, what we resist and who we exclude... we've got to measure goodness by what we embrace, what we create, and who we include."

Sunday Song: Where The Streets Have No Name - U2

.

Blah, Blah, Blah

The past two weeks I have had so much energy I could barely contain myself.

I've been on a ten day high, not being able to sit still, having no problem putting words in blog posts, getting up and running two, three times a day. At work I can only sit at my workstation for two hours tops before needing to expend some energy.

The transition from the warm weather to the pleasant coolness of autumn is the best time of the year for me. Nagging pains and fatigue disappear. Runs feel wonderful.

The one problem with this is that I can't sleep at night. The hyperactivity is constant, even though I'm "tired", I'm not drowsy. I can fall asleep, but I wake up after only an hour or two, and ready to do something, when there's nothing to do.

Yeah, I have little to blog about today, so you get some freakish jabbering of a hyper dork.

Song for today: Hook - Blue's Traveler

Happiness?

If they attacked us because they hated us, will war make them love us?

This essay was written by Barbara Kingsolver in the days after Sept 11, 2001:
A Pure, High Note of Anguish

I cannot believe we are still trying to avenge this act, with no end in sight, without someone trying to initiate some kind of dialogue of consolation or forgiveness.

Is it possible make them agree with our way of life, by destroying theirs?

Is there still a chance to bring any of those souls back to life?

Music Post: Give Peace a Chance - John Lennon

.

Ipso Facto

My Morning: (Today's mediocre attempt to come up with daily posts for NaBloPoMo)

4:45: Awake - Lay there for a 15 Minutes stretching trying to think myself into getting out of bed, bed is warm and comfy
5:00: Get out of bed, Turn on lights, wake up PC, Take vitamins, ginko biloba, ginseng, iron supplement with half a glass of water
5:02: pee
5:05: Check E-mail, News, Blog Comments, Comic strips SinFest and Dilbert.
5:15: Eat Breakfast, Cold cereal. oatmeal, or muesli. Have Orange or Cranberry Juice (usually while reading or watching news)
5:25: Brush Teeth, Shower, Dress
5:35: In car heading for work
5:50: At work, Wake up Workstation, Check E-mails, respond to alerts, do daily system health checks, put out any fires
6:15: Write Blog Entry (depends on; if I have time and how loud the voices are screaming)
6:30: Make Coffee, give a apathetic attempt to say "G'Mornin" to a few other early souls and third shift crew
6:45: Coffee Ready. GET OUT OF MY WAY.

-- Be right back, I need to make and consume my daily wake up elixir. Can you guess what time it is?

7:00: First gulps of coffee are in me, I can feel the effects.
7:00 - 9:30: Daily work tasks. (I fix databases, application software, and application access problems)
9:30 - 11:00: Head to the gym for morning run (time varies based on time of year)

If everything goes according to plan, projectiles will remain still, and no one will be victimizied by my "This isn't what I planned" rage.

Coming Next Thursday: More of my daily routine (unless I find something more exciting to blog about)

Daily Music Dose - Something To Talk About by Badly Drawn Boy from the Soundtrack of the movie About A Boy

.

Prolificity

Where does the time go?

It's been one week since I "pledged" to write a post for everyday of November at NaBloPoMo.

I have found that two things happen when I try to write a blog post:

1. Time moves very quick. I look up at the clock, do some blogging, then back a few moments later and an hour has passed.
2. The time I get to spend surfing blogs, getting news, reading books, and socializing with other humans is dramatically reduced.

Every afternoon I go for a run after work. I can come up with dozens of great ideas for posts. Then, I sit down to put thoughts to blog the next morning, and my blankity-blank mind is blank.

I really wish I could send mental notes to my PC.

I will return to this after I feed the brain some caffeine.

Ok, I'm back after one cup.

So, I pledged write everyday this month, and November and December last year were the most productive of my blogging history. Should be easy. Many voices start nagging me as I walk through stores blaring happy holiday music while homes, work, and markets become over-adorned in pagan winter decorations. Marketing schemers claim that this puts shoppers in a buying mood. Does it? What is wrong with me? It makes me run away in a cold sweat wanting to bash my head against a brick wall. That stuff makes my blood pressure rise and makes me rage. Why? I'm guessing; it is because of so many unhappy childhood memories from that time of year.

Thanksgiving, on the other hand, is one of my favorite holidays. I love the food, and having a day to give thanks for your blessings. My memories of childhood Thanksgiving are of spending that day with other families, or relatives, away from the daily hostile home life I experienced. Those are good memories, away from home. Is it a wonder I shut them out of my life?

I'm always harping about forgiving others who have done misdeeds against you or your loved ones, but I cannot find the strength to forgive them.

Music Post - Pearl Jam's Yellow Ledbetter

The Hole Truth

Remember the hole in the ozone layer?

When I was in my teens and twenty's, the big environmental news was how the hole in the ozone layer is growing, letting in too much of the sun's radiation, which was going to increase humans problems associated with solar radiation.

Most scientists agreed, few were skeptical, about the cause. Humans were causing it.

The main cause of the hole is CFCs, chlorofluorocarbons, a result of human activity. Governments around the world got together to change manufacturing and distribution of products that contain this ozone destroying pollutant.

Now the hole is shrinking. I'd like to think this solution was a direct result of human action to stop ozone depletion, but that hasn't been determined yet.

Now the big environmental headline is Global Warming. I have also been hearing about the Greenhouse effect since I was very young, and understood it. The more we pollute the planet, the sicker our planet will become.

The Earth is alive. Either the earth will become sicker and sicker, or something will happen to eliminate the cause of this illness. I think, for the sake of our species, we need to do all we can to preserve the earth's health, or many species of animals, including humans, will suffer. Maybe not today, or the next generation, or even in the next hundreds of years, but it will come too soon for those who will bear the suffering.

Continued economic and population growth is unsustainable. We must put controls on this growth, before it destroys us.

Most scientists agree that Global Warming is caused by human activity on our planet. There are a few government paid skeptics, but even some of those have moved away denying the obvious. Skeptical scientists usually change their mind when they've studied the problem themselves.

In the latter part of the last century, countries around the earth have been moving to reverse the causes of Global Warming. Our current U.S. leaders have made bad decisions that have reversed these positive actions of environmental issues.

We all need to do what we can to reduce our "carbon footprint" on this planet. It begins with the little things you do everyday. In my honest opinion, and what common sense tells me, this is the right thing to do. It doesn't matter if others join me in my effort, I need to set the example. It is the only ethical way to live.

There are some great essays about the environment and human causes of our planets problems at Earth Meanders.

Added to Playlist - Would by Alice in Chains

.

Unmitigated Temerity

One of my favorite books of all time is To Kill A Mockingbird. It was Harper's Lee only novel.

Harper Lee to receive Medal of Freedom in a ceremony at the White House today.

I don't know why the U.S. media sources buried this news story, while it made headlines in the United Kingdom. This is important news, and it's good news.

It's too bad she is receiving this award from a man I do not respect. Maybe I shouldn't be so quick to judge him, after all I haven't walked in his shoes.

Harper's tale of racism and prejudice in the south, through the eyes of a young girl, was the first book to leave a lasting impression on me. I've read this book many times, and it always feels fresh, and I always find something new that didn't notice before.

When I was in the sixth grade, we had to choose a book, from a teacher's list, to read and do a book report on. When I saw this book on the list, I selected it right away, because I had seen and loved the movie many times. I knew the story and thought I could be lazy and write the report from the story I'd seen in the movie. Although the basics of the plot were well portrayed in the moving picture, compared to the book, it is only two dimensions of a three dimensional story.

When I got up and presented my report, the teacher quizzed me about aspects and characters of the novel not shown in movie. I remember one of the things she asked was about "....Dolphus Raymond, how was he different than town judged him, and why did he live like that?"

Not only was I very disturbed and humiliated for not knowing that part of the story, it fueled my curiosity enough to make me read the book and find out the answers. I started it and couldn't put it down, I think I read it in two days. I learned two life lessons; movies never even come close to telling the stories from novels and always do research yourself, never trust other sources.

This novel should be required reading for all.

Song of the Day - Jewel's Pieces of You

.

Promise of Heaven

If you knew your death was certain, but all you had to do to keep living was as simple as pressing a button, wouldn't you press that button?

If you had to make that choice everyday, would you continue to press that button?

Some people have faith in an afterlife. Some people pretend to have faith in an afterlife, just in case it's true. Most religious people I've ever met fit in the latter case. They say they have faith, but they aren't "pushing the buttons" that their faith teaches in order to reach the afterlife.

Pretending to have faith, in order to fit into your culture, is pointless. I respect people who can live the life of true faith. Problem is, I've only heard rumors of such people, I've never met one.

From Scott Adam's book God's Debris:

“They say that they believe because pretending to
believe is necessary to get the benefits of religion. They tell
other people that they believe and they do believer-like
things, like praying and reading holy books. But they don’t
do the things that a true believer would do, the things a true
believer would have to do.

“If you believe a truck is coming toward you, you will
jump out of the way. That is belief in the reality of the truck.
If you tell people you fear the truck but do nothing to get
out of the way, that is not belief in the truck. Likewise, it is
not belief to say God exists and then continue sinning and
hoarding your wealth while innocent people die of starvation.
When belief does not control your most important
decisions, it is not belief in the underlying reality, it is belief
in the usefulness of believing.”

Do you need the promise of rewards, or the threat of punishments, in order to make the daily decisions of your life and those you influence?

Today's Music - Devils and Dust - Bruce Springsteen